Tell it to My Heart

Back when I was living in Colorado with my partner, "L", Annica would still be on my mind from time to time and she would "break through" every now and then. In reality, according to what I learned and realized later, was that she was never NOT there, but I was leading my life and had chosen a Path that did not include her.
But, despite that, there were things that happened and times that I could not get her off my mind. When my relationship was in its death throes, that last autumn/Halloween in Colorado I was particularly missing her. When we moved to an apt. in our last year, there was a park there called "Utah Park". It was really nice and had some cool features to it. There were some stone 'thrones' or something like that, erected in the park and when I had first arrived there, I announced my presence because I had told her that if I ever made it to a park alone, I would 'summon' her. I did not officially summon her my first day there, but I sat on one of the stone 'thrones' and said out loud, "This is MY throne..." and I heard her say "This is NOT your throne, and it's not your kingdom..." I did not know at the time it was her, I thought it may have been. Not long after, I went to the swings and swung for a bit and listened to songs on my ipod that reminded me of her. It felt really good and I felt alive and somewhat happy for the first time in a while.
I never specifically addressed her that day, but I did not forget it, or her, either. By the time autumn officially rolled around, it was very warm that year and I took my guitar and went to Utah Park and decided to officially 'summon' her. She was very pleased about it and surprised and I serenaded her on my guitar and one song I played was one of our favorites that I used to sing/play for her when I was still in NC, called "Today" by John Denver:

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
'Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today
I'll be a dandy, and I'll be a rover
You'll know who I am by the songs that I sing
I'll feast at your table, I'll sleep in your clover
Who cares what the morrow shall bring
Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
'Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today
I can't be contented with yesterday's glory
I can't live on promises winter to spring
Today is my moment, now is my story
I'll laugh and I'll cry and I'll sing...

 

 When Rocktober arrived, I would go to the park by myself and play songs on my ipod and not officially summon her out loud, but I would be missing her, and I felt her there in the background.

Right before Halloween, things started to really go awry between my partner and I, and I would spend more and more time at the park (it was only a block or two away). When I was at home on my computer, I started 'discovering' some bands/music that would be very emotional and significant then, when I got back to NC, and even to this very day, that did and would continue to play a role in my and Annica's life and bonding. She later confirmed that she had led me to them.

That Halloween night I 'summoned' her and asked her to commune with me and celebrate and one of the songs that came on my ipod was "Tell It To My Heart", because she was hoping that we could continue. That night was magical!

I feel the night explode
When we're together
Emotion overload
In the heat of pleasure

Take me I'm yours into your arms
Never let me go
Tonight I really need to know

Tell it to my heart
Tell me I'm the only one
Is this really love or just a game
Tell it to my heart
I can feel my body rock
Every time you call my name

The passion's so complete
It's never ending
As long as I receive
This message you're sending

Body to body, soul to soul
Always feel you near
So say the words I long to hear

Tell it to my heart
Tell me I'm the only one
Is this really love or just a game
Tell it to my heart
I can feel my body rock
Every time you call my name

Love...love on the run
Breaking us down
Though we keep holding on
I don't want to lose
No...I can't let you go...

Tell it to my heart
Tell me I'm the only one
Is this really love or just a game
Tell it to my heart
I can feel my body rock
Every time you call my name

Tell it to my heart
Tell me from the stars
Tell it to my heart
Tell it to my heart
Tell me from the stars

 

 Tell it to my heart
Tell me I'm the only one
Is this really love or just a game
Tell it to my heart
I can feel my body rock
Every time you call my name

 

 

~~~On a side note: Annica never interfered with my relationship or caused strife within it. Trust me, I and my partner were unfortunately quite capable of sabotaging it all by ourselves, I want to make that clear.