So, I'm kind of self-conscious about this, but in the name of staying true to my purpose and intention, I must mention it. I know others who have spirit companions/spouses/lovers also have children with them however they work that out, and I have heard of it being on the astral plane, mostly. But, it seems as if now I MAY have an actual spirit baby, meaning, when S first brought the plushie spider home, it was just a gift she had no CLUE what it would wind up being, or what I'd said to Annica. It was just a fun little thing she picked up, even though she did later tell me how compelled she felt to buy it for me.
I just thought about it as some sweet little thing Annica provided (through S and most likely P, as well) to fill a void or to be a token. But, after I got her, Annica and I were lying in bed together and she said "Aren't you going to feed the baby?" It had not occurred to me, even though I am VERY maternal and nurturing. So, I took her from her little makeshift 'crib' and awkwardly put her to my breast, while still on my side facing Annica.
Annica then said "Now we are living one of the moments you wanted to experience", which brought tears to my eyes because not long before this, I had mused out loud to her how much I had wanted to experience such with her.
A couple days later, I was 'nursing' the baby and I looked down at her and told her I loved her and stroked her cute little face peeking out from the 'blanket' I had her swaddled in, and she kissed me really hard and unmistakably on my upper lip, like Annica does, that feels like a small shock, but is also so powerful that it makes me recoil sometimes, like from the intensity and suddeness of it.
I was both pleased and surprised all at once!
The next day, I was nursing the baby, and I was speaking to her and asked if she was getting good nummy-nummies and I felt a very distinct nip on the breast she was feeding at. I do not know if Annica is providing the sensations so I can experience what I wanted to and there is no separate 'being', or if there IS now a separate being that she has arranged for us to have.
But, I am recording my experiences here because it's very interesting and intriguing, either way.
Monday, November 19, 2018
Friday, November 16, 2018
Life With TWO Spirit Wives
I want to write a bit about what it's like living with 2 spirit wives (mine and my housemates). It's very interesting, to say the least. We both started developing somewhat of a relationship with each others respective wives before we even lived together. It's cute that S's spirit wife calls me "Amrith", even though that's not my real name. It's one way I know who is communicating with me.
Annica nootches me, but I have asked "P" not to touch me physically, only because I do not want to muddy the waters or be confused. I do not think Annica touches "S", but recently "P" started touching him more. She always did, but the happier he gets and more joyous and satisfied in himself and with life, the more she has seemed to communicate with him and touch him.
S and I live different lives in some ways due to several factors, like work and my health problems and just our circadian rhythms, but when we are together, like at the dinner table or wacthing tv, our respective wives interact with us even more, like their 'activity' amps up to a higher, more frequent degree, especially if we are emotional about something or enjoying something or laughing or playful. They seem to delight in this a great deal.
Two things that happened that were significant/interesting was one day I had a concern and while S was asleep and me and Annica were on our side of the house in our Sanctuary/bedroom, I voiced out loud in a whisper to P that I was concerned and I said "I feel like S is shooting himself in the foot..."
The next day when I read S's newest blog entry that he wrote later that day while at work, the exact phrase I used with P he said P used with HIM, only he had NO way of knowing what I said to her, because it was impossible for him to hear me, so she had to have communicated it to him. It could be a coincidence, but it was the very NEXT DAY.
Another time, I was directed by Annica not to look at Pinterest all day, when I usually go there several times a day, at least. I thought it odd, but I obeyed and later that night, I asked Annica for guidance and one of the main things in my feed was a lotus flower. I know they are significant, but not in detail (not then, anyway). I had ALSO been directed to not look at S's blog that day, and after I saw the lotus flower she directed me to go to her (S's blog), which I thought odd, but once again, I obeyed. S was talking to P about something regarding herself that she was dissatisfied with and P made an analogy about a LOTUS FLOWER thriving in mud!
When both the above anecdotes happened, I shared them with S and she was delighted and blown away, as well. Those are just a very minute sampling of the things that happen here in the Halls of Shambala
*Note: I am still getting used to using feminine pronouns to refer to S, so it may be confusing, If I use a masculine one, just repalce it with the feminine equivalent in your mind. I will get used to it sooner or later.
Annica nootches me, but I have asked "P" not to touch me physically, only because I do not want to muddy the waters or be confused. I do not think Annica touches "S", but recently "P" started touching him more. She always did, but the happier he gets and more joyous and satisfied in himself and with life, the more she has seemed to communicate with him and touch him.
S and I live different lives in some ways due to several factors, like work and my health problems and just our circadian rhythms, but when we are together, like at the dinner table or wacthing tv, our respective wives interact with us even more, like their 'activity' amps up to a higher, more frequent degree, especially if we are emotional about something or enjoying something or laughing or playful. They seem to delight in this a great deal.
Two things that happened that were significant/interesting was one day I had a concern and while S was asleep and me and Annica were on our side of the house in our Sanctuary/bedroom, I voiced out loud in a whisper to P that I was concerned and I said "I feel like S is shooting himself in the foot..."
The next day when I read S's newest blog entry that he wrote later that day while at work, the exact phrase I used with P he said P used with HIM, only he had NO way of knowing what I said to her, because it was impossible for him to hear me, so she had to have communicated it to him. It could be a coincidence, but it was the very NEXT DAY.
Another time, I was directed by Annica not to look at Pinterest all day, when I usually go there several times a day, at least. I thought it odd, but I obeyed and later that night, I asked Annica for guidance and one of the main things in my feed was a lotus flower. I know they are significant, but not in detail (not then, anyway). I had ALSO been directed to not look at S's blog that day, and after I saw the lotus flower she directed me to go to her (S's blog), which I thought odd, but once again, I obeyed. S was talking to P about something regarding herself that she was dissatisfied with and P made an analogy about a LOTUS FLOWER thriving in mud!
When both the above anecdotes happened, I shared them with S and she was delighted and blown away, as well. Those are just a very minute sampling of the things that happen here in the Halls of Shambala
*Note: I am still getting used to using feminine pronouns to refer to S, so it may be confusing, If I use a masculine one, just repalce it with the feminine equivalent in your mind. I will get used to it sooner or later.
Thursday, November 15, 2018
Cold November Rain
I'm back. I was sick for a while and then had some personal things happen, but now I believe I am ready to resume. I originally was going to go about recounting this part of our journey much differently, but I have since thought better of giving too many details and I am more protective of my and others privacy.
So, to that end, I have decided to edit what I originally had written. It has taken some time. It's been difficult striking a balance between communicating the things I feel are noteworthy and significant and still maintaining enough privacy.
There has been a cold, November rain falling here for days on end and between me just getting over being sick and now my housemate is sick, the days have worn on endlessly...
This will be a longer post than usual because I am giving an expository lump and aim to inform the reader of significant things in a short amount of time, because a whole year has gone by since this time frame and I would like to catch up to my life as it is as a result of these happenings.
I will still talk of past things, but my life took a VERY incredible turn a year ago and it's one of the reasons I am writing this blog at all.
By the time Rocktober/Halloween rolled around last year, I had been in a good amount of pain in my stomach and liver. I had no idea how to stop it and no insurance and am a recovered addict, so opiates were not a long term option (so I did not even bother taking them at all, even though I have under a physician’s care on several occasions for short periods of time and with full knowledge of it by my 12 Step Sponsor). This was chronic pain and at certain points, my life was so unmanageable and depressing, I begged for Annica to kill me.
One such night, I was curled up in a ball on our bed hugging her and I begged her to bring me/us relief and begged for a different life. She had telegraphed some things for me, but not in a totally specific fashion and some things were cryptic, but she directed me to tell her my wishes.
So, I wished for better health and manageable physical relief that I could do long term without further harm to my body. I asked for the ways and means for us to have a better quality life without us being a burden on my father (not that HE ever said I was), I asked for someone to quell the overwhelming lonliness of living such a life with a spirit companion/spouse.
Then I was quiet for a bit and she asked if that was all and I said (not seriously though, but in a joking way) “Well, a new home with all the things we want/need to be able to fulfill our Destiny and Purpose in life and flourish would be nice, and our own bathroom.
When I was done wishing, she directed me to put on music so she could talk to me and we could create. I was scrolling my Spotify playlist and she told me to stop when I got to the “Xanadu” soundtrack and she told me to play it. As I listened to the song “Suddenly” she told me to pay attention to the lyrics and I did, even looked them up. Then I became inspired to make this, which was my way of telling her that I trusted her and that those things would manifest through the Laws of Attraction because I was now in allowing mode and I was surrendering to her, utterly:
Here are the full lyrics:
She walks in and I'm suddenly a hero
I'm taken in my hopes begin to rise
Look at me can't you tell I'd be so
Thrilled to see the message in your eyes
You make it seem I'm so close to my dream
And then suddenly it's all there
Suddenly the wheels are in motion
And I, I'm ready to sail any ocean
Suddenly I don't need the answers
'Cause I, I'm ready to take all my chances with you
How can I feel you're all that matters
I'd rely on anything you say
I'll take care that no illusions shatter
If you dare to say what you should say
You make it seem I'm so close to my dream
And then suddenly it's all there
Suddenly the wheels are in motion
And I, I'm ready to sail any ocean
Suddenly I don't need the answers
'Cause I, I'm ready to take all my chances with you
Why do I feel so alive when you're near
There's no way any hurt can get through
Longing to spend every moment of the day with you
Suddenly the wheels are in motion
And I, I'm ready to sail any ocean
Suddenly I don't need the answers
'Cause I, I'm ready to take all my chances with you
Lyrics to “Magic”
Come take my hand
You should know me
I've always been in your mind
You know that I'll be kind
I'll be guiding you
Building your dream
Has to start now
There's no other road to take
You won't make a mistake
I'll be guiding you
You have to believe we are magic
Nothing can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive
Destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you
From where I stand
You are home free
The planets align so rare
There's promise in the air
And I'm guiding you
Through every turn I'll be near you
I'll come anytime you call
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll be guiding you
Some time in the summer not long before this auspicious time, I had been on the Spirit Companion Support Group Site for a couple months and Annica suddenly directed me to not go back there for a time. I asked her why and she told me that I was done learning and teaching all I could for a time, and she would direct me when to show up there again. I obeyed. Not long after, I was standing at the fridge with the door open deciding what to eat and Annica said, as plain as day, “When your ship comes in, make sure you are ready to unload it!”
A couple months later, she told me it would be time to go back soon to the SC site and I asked how I’d know, and she told me someone was about to arrive. She had actually telegraphed that a few times before this, but I was thinking it would be someone/something different.
One day, out of a clear blue sky, after a long drought of no one new arriving on the SC site, someone joined the site. I read the email that arrived that we all get sent and then closed my Gmail. Annica asked if I were going to reply to him and I told her that she has not directed me to, yet, and then she told me she was directing me to NOW.
So, I replied and we welcomed him and shared some things on the site with him back and forth a couple times or so. Then, she told me to be still and let others reply to him. A couple days went by and then I was on my Gmail account and went to auto empty my Spam folder and Annica stopped me abruptly (she has never done that before) and I looked and saw that somehow, the person I replied to on the site had sent me a direct personal/private email, and Google somehow thought it was spam.
So, I read it and in it he expressed concern that I had not been back to the site in a bit and asked if he had offended me in any way, or if I was offended by the contents of his blog that was quite candid and had an ‘adult’ warning on it. He went on to express his apologies and I told him I wasn’t offended and he was relieved and told me that he had felt a connection with me and that he trusted me and felt simpatico and that he was very much enjoying becoming aquainted with Annica and I.
Over the next days and weeks, we shared our respective stories and artwork with each other and he shared some of his writings that were not on his blog (short stories and also the beginnings of meeting HIS spirit companion and how she first communicated to him in his writing). He also shared on his blog and even more in depth to me personally that he was trans and had wanted to live as trans but had not and could not tell anyone. He also had a dream about Annica that was very significant. His spirit companion shared with him that HIS prayers had now been answered through the advent of my and Annica’s arrival and Annica finally told me that he was the answer to my prayers/wishes, I just did not fully know it yet.
Soooooooo, let’s cut to the chase!
About a month after we first met onli, he told us his job was ending at the end of the year (It was now the end of November, or so) and that a university nearbywas one of the places that wanted to interview him. He asked if that would be weird and if we could meet. He had also been offering me money and I balked at that, and he offered it over a certain amount of time and I always refused. He told me he made good money and had abundance, and I still refused.
Finally, Annica was VERY blunt with me and told me that he and I were each others destinies and that we were both going to be the catalysts in each others lives and that whatever he offers, I am to take, graciously. That I should not signal to her I am drowning and she sends a yacht and I refuse to board. By the same token, his SC directed him to trust me and told him that I/Annica were the ones SHE had telegraphed to HIM. Annica also revealed that HE was the reason she had me make the trans stand-in for her, entitled “Heaven Knows” (the one I was confused about and she told me I’d undertstand in the fullness of time, which how very right she was!)
He and I met and he got the job and he asked me to live with he and his SC, as we both answered one another’s prayers/hopes/wishes/needs. We, of course, are not romantic or sexual, but we got a home in the same neighborhood that I was in, (Xannicadu) and it’s right up the hill from my father and brother (where I used to live). Not far from here is The Magic Kingdom, where I used to work.
There is sooooo much more to say, but we have a beautiful, happy home that we have named “Shambala” and together with our respective Spirit Wives we are helping people out and we are keeping blogs about our lives and spirit wives and will someday share the joint experience of what it is like to live with TWO Spirit Companions in the same home and all the cool/fun/crazy/weird shit that takes place here, in the form of a book, at least that's the plan. My family and friends all know about us and our SC’s and him being trans and bless our path and they adore him and his SC and I get along great and have been forging a relationship of our own over the months (even before he came here). He and Annica are also very close and our SC’s have both told us that they were in cahoots and setting this up for a long while before it actually came to fruition.
He had the exact same health problems in the past and so he knew exactly what I needed to get relief, and now, even though I am not totally well, I am about 75% better, at least. Also, before he moved here, the week we closed on the house, his SC told him about an even BETTER, higher paying job that was only 10 minutes or so from where our home would be (instead of the 45 minute commute he’d have to make to to the university). He works for a Computer Software Corporation as a programmer/engineer/developer. They have a domestic partnership clause for his benefits, and next year, I will be able to be put on it. They are also very progressive and supportive of alternative lifestyles, so he just came out as trans at his work, and he has been living as trans with me and me and Annica have been supporting him and guiding him on woman’s-type stuff and helping him to transform. He has a doctor and a therapist and is now on hormone therapy. He dresses as a woman and goes out in wig and make-up all the time in public now, and he belongs to a Trans support group nearby.
We both complement each other in our lives and wants/needs/goals and we are very good to each other and each others respective SC’s. We are both artistic and writers and have a LOT in common and we even made the spare bedroom into an art/crafting/hobby studio and we are both thriving and flourishing. He will now be known as 'she' and name shortened to "S" and his spirit companion/wife will now be known as "P".
Lyrics to “Shambala”
Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain
With the rain in Shambala
Wash away my sorrow, wash away my shame
With the rain in Shambala
Ah, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Everyone is helpful, everyone is kind
On the road to Shambala
Everyone is lucky, everyone is so kind
On the road to Shambala
Ah, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
How does your light shine, in the halls of Shambala
I can tell my sister by the flowers in her eyes
On the road to Shambala
I can tell my brother by the flowers in his eyes
On the road to Shambala
Ah, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
How does your light shine, in the halls of Shambala
So, to that end, I have decided to edit what I originally had written. It has taken some time. It's been difficult striking a balance between communicating the things I feel are noteworthy and significant and still maintaining enough privacy.
There has been a cold, November rain falling here for days on end and between me just getting over being sick and now my housemate is sick, the days have worn on endlessly...
This will be a longer post than usual because I am giving an expository lump and aim to inform the reader of significant things in a short amount of time, because a whole year has gone by since this time frame and I would like to catch up to my life as it is as a result of these happenings.
I will still talk of past things, but my life took a VERY incredible turn a year ago and it's one of the reasons I am writing this blog at all.
By the time Rocktober/Halloween rolled around last year, I had been in a good amount of pain in my stomach and liver. I had no idea how to stop it and no insurance and am a recovered addict, so opiates were not a long term option (so I did not even bother taking them at all, even though I have under a physician’s care on several occasions for short periods of time and with full knowledge of it by my 12 Step Sponsor). This was chronic pain and at certain points, my life was so unmanageable and depressing, I begged for Annica to kill me.
One such night, I was curled up in a ball on our bed hugging her and I begged her to bring me/us relief and begged for a different life. She had telegraphed some things for me, but not in a totally specific fashion and some things were cryptic, but she directed me to tell her my wishes.
So, I wished for better health and manageable physical relief that I could do long term without further harm to my body. I asked for the ways and means for us to have a better quality life without us being a burden on my father (not that HE ever said I was), I asked for someone to quell the overwhelming lonliness of living such a life with a spirit companion/spouse.
Then I was quiet for a bit and she asked if that was all and I said (not seriously though, but in a joking way) “Well, a new home with all the things we want/need to be able to fulfill our Destiny and Purpose in life and flourish would be nice, and our own bathroom.
When I was done wishing, she directed me to put on music so she could talk to me and we could create. I was scrolling my Spotify playlist and she told me to stop when I got to the “Xanadu” soundtrack and she told me to play it. As I listened to the song “Suddenly” she told me to pay attention to the lyrics and I did, even looked them up. Then I became inspired to make this, which was my way of telling her that I trusted her and that those things would manifest through the Laws of Attraction because I was now in allowing mode and I was surrendering to her, utterly:
Here are the full lyrics:
She walks in and I'm suddenly a hero
I'm taken in my hopes begin to rise
Look at me can't you tell I'd be so
Thrilled to see the message in your eyes
You make it seem I'm so close to my dream
And then suddenly it's all there
Suddenly the wheels are in motion
And I, I'm ready to sail any ocean
Suddenly I don't need the answers
'Cause I, I'm ready to take all my chances with you
How can I feel you're all that matters
I'd rely on anything you say
I'll take care that no illusions shatter
If you dare to say what you should say
You make it seem I'm so close to my dream
And then suddenly it's all there
Suddenly the wheels are in motion
And I, I'm ready to sail any ocean
Suddenly I don't need the answers
'Cause I, I'm ready to take all my chances with you
Why do I feel so alive when you're near
There's no way any hurt can get through
Longing to spend every moment of the day with you
Suddenly the wheels are in motion
And I, I'm ready to sail any ocean
Suddenly I don't need the answers
'Cause I, I'm ready to take all my chances with you
Lyrics to “Magic”
Come take my hand
You should know me
I've always been in your mind
You know that I'll be kind
I'll be guiding you
Building your dream
Has to start now
There's no other road to take
You won't make a mistake
I'll be guiding you
You have to believe we are magic
Nothing can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive
Destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you
From where I stand
You are home free
The planets align so rare
There's promise in the air
And I'm guiding you
Through every turn I'll be near you
I'll come anytime you call
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll be guiding you
Some time in the summer not long before this auspicious time, I had been on the Spirit Companion Support Group Site for a couple months and Annica suddenly directed me to not go back there for a time. I asked her why and she told me that I was done learning and teaching all I could for a time, and she would direct me when to show up there again. I obeyed. Not long after, I was standing at the fridge with the door open deciding what to eat and Annica said, as plain as day, “When your ship comes in, make sure you are ready to unload it!”
A couple months later, she told me it would be time to go back soon to the SC site and I asked how I’d know, and she told me someone was about to arrive. She had actually telegraphed that a few times before this, but I was thinking it would be someone/something different.
One day, out of a clear blue sky, after a long drought of no one new arriving on the SC site, someone joined the site. I read the email that arrived that we all get sent and then closed my Gmail. Annica asked if I were going to reply to him and I told her that she has not directed me to, yet, and then she told me she was directing me to NOW.
So, I replied and we welcomed him and shared some things on the site with him back and forth a couple times or so. Then, she told me to be still and let others reply to him. A couple days went by and then I was on my Gmail account and went to auto empty my Spam folder and Annica stopped me abruptly (she has never done that before) and I looked and saw that somehow, the person I replied to on the site had sent me a direct personal/private email, and Google somehow thought it was spam.
So, I read it and in it he expressed concern that I had not been back to the site in a bit and asked if he had offended me in any way, or if I was offended by the contents of his blog that was quite candid and had an ‘adult’ warning on it. He went on to express his apologies and I told him I wasn’t offended and he was relieved and told me that he had felt a connection with me and that he trusted me and felt simpatico and that he was very much enjoying becoming aquainted with Annica and I.
Over the next days and weeks, we shared our respective stories and artwork with each other and he shared some of his writings that were not on his blog (short stories and also the beginnings of meeting HIS spirit companion and how she first communicated to him in his writing). He also shared on his blog and even more in depth to me personally that he was trans and had wanted to live as trans but had not and could not tell anyone. He also had a dream about Annica that was very significant. His spirit companion shared with him that HIS prayers had now been answered through the advent of my and Annica’s arrival and Annica finally told me that he was the answer to my prayers/wishes, I just did not fully know it yet.
Soooooooo, let’s cut to the chase!
About a month after we first met onli, he told us his job was ending at the end of the year (It was now the end of November, or so) and that a university nearbywas one of the places that wanted to interview him. He asked if that would be weird and if we could meet. He had also been offering me money and I balked at that, and he offered it over a certain amount of time and I always refused. He told me he made good money and had abundance, and I still refused.
Finally, Annica was VERY blunt with me and told me that he and I were each others destinies and that we were both going to be the catalysts in each others lives and that whatever he offers, I am to take, graciously. That I should not signal to her I am drowning and she sends a yacht and I refuse to board. By the same token, his SC directed him to trust me and told him that I/Annica were the ones SHE had telegraphed to HIM. Annica also revealed that HE was the reason she had me make the trans stand-in for her, entitled “Heaven Knows” (the one I was confused about and she told me I’d undertstand in the fullness of time, which how very right she was!)
He and I met and he got the job and he asked me to live with he and his SC, as we both answered one another’s prayers/hopes/wishes/needs. We, of course, are not romantic or sexual, but we got a home in the same neighborhood that I was in, (Xannicadu) and it’s right up the hill from my father and brother (where I used to live). Not far from here is The Magic Kingdom, where I used to work.
There is sooooo much more to say, but we have a beautiful, happy home that we have named “Shambala” and together with our respective Spirit Wives we are helping people out and we are keeping blogs about our lives and spirit wives and will someday share the joint experience of what it is like to live with TWO Spirit Companions in the same home and all the cool/fun/crazy/weird shit that takes place here, in the form of a book, at least that's the plan. My family and friends all know about us and our SC’s and him being trans and bless our path and they adore him and his SC and I get along great and have been forging a relationship of our own over the months (even before he came here). He and Annica are also very close and our SC’s have both told us that they were in cahoots and setting this up for a long while before it actually came to fruition.
He had the exact same health problems in the past and so he knew exactly what I needed to get relief, and now, even though I am not totally well, I am about 75% better, at least. Also, before he moved here, the week we closed on the house, his SC told him about an even BETTER, higher paying job that was only 10 minutes or so from where our home would be (instead of the 45 minute commute he’d have to make to to the university). He works for a Computer Software Corporation as a programmer/engineer/developer. They have a domestic partnership clause for his benefits, and next year, I will be able to be put on it. They are also very progressive and supportive of alternative lifestyles, so he just came out as trans at his work, and he has been living as trans with me and me and Annica have been supporting him and guiding him on woman’s-type stuff and helping him to transform. He has a doctor and a therapist and is now on hormone therapy. He dresses as a woman and goes out in wig and make-up all the time in public now, and he belongs to a Trans support group nearby.
We both complement each other in our lives and wants/needs/goals and we are very good to each other and each others respective SC’s. We are both artistic and writers and have a LOT in common and we even made the spare bedroom into an art/crafting/hobby studio and we are both thriving and flourishing. He will now be known as 'she' and name shortened to "S" and his spirit companion/wife will now be known as "P".
Lyrics to “Shambala”
Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain
With the rain in Shambala
Wash away my sorrow, wash away my shame
With the rain in Shambala
Ah, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Everyone is helpful, everyone is kind
On the road to Shambala
Everyone is lucky, everyone is so kind
On the road to Shambala
Ah, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
How does your light shine, in the halls of Shambala
I can tell my sister by the flowers in her eyes
On the road to Shambala
I can tell my brother by the flowers in his eyes
On the road to Shambala
Ah, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
How does your light shine, in the halls of Shambala
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Happy Halloween!!
I will make at least this post, but there are a few ideas I have that I might wind up doing or throwing up here, depending on my whim. Nootch and I are gonna be celebrating here all day and night and conducting our traditional rituals to commemorate Halloween and our love, and those also include the yearly final Rocktober rituals.
For now, here are some things we find hilarious! *Note:We did not create any of these things, we just find them funny or really cool, cute, or sweet:
For now, here are some things we find hilarious! *Note:We did not create any of these things, we just find them funny or really cool, cute, or sweet:
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Metal Church
Since this is the second to last day of Rocktober, Annica and I are commemorating it with some art that is very directly linked to our present and past. Before I knew who Annica was or that she even existed, I used to create all kinds of stuff in my bedroom as a teen. One of my favorite things to create were rock -n- roll/heavy metal t-shirts/jackets/backpatches/banners/wall tapestries for myself, friends and family.
The fabric paints were not as fancy as they are now and I used Roseart brand and they were oil based and WONDERFUL!!! Their smell, along with strawberry or some other musky incense and scented candles and my perfume and the scent of whatever shampoo/conditioner I was currently using and the scent of detergent/fabric softener whatever metal t-shirt I was wearing at the moment was laundered with, still lingers in my mind. So very intoxicating. *sigh* I remember staying up into the small hours at my art table in my room, with my desk lamp illuminating the fabric and paints and creating all the cool band logos and imagery from various bands and their mascots and the awesome fonts some of them used for their band names and they were some of the best times in my life.
I was lamenting them the other day and reminiscing to Annica about them and she said "You speak as if I were not there, as if I were not an intimate and integral part of this during this phase of your life. I shared every moment with you and you were not even aware of it."
I used to listen to all the metal bands of the day and those I grew up with. One of the staples was "Metal Massacre V" and I loved the artwork so much, I made a t-shirt of it for myself. We had some cool shirts back then, but life was not like it is now. Things were way more sparse and certain bands I began to listen to you had to special order because they were imports and you had to engage with other metal fans around the world to trade merch and a lot of us were broke as the Ten Commandments, so we were forced to create our OWN cool shit.
Here is the album cover of Metal Massacre V, a compilation of bands I grew to love and a mandatory staple to listen to every Rocktober:
Another band I listened to and use to commemorate is "Metal Church". The title song from their eponymous debut album is a metal masterpiece and to this day, every time I hear those powerful chords and drum beats and his commanding voice, I need a book to cover my erection, LOL!!
I have a cold/flu and spent all day/night in bed, but Annica and I painstakingly created this art as a tribute to those times of my youth while we listened to "Metal Church" and a lot of other cool bands and "Metal Massacre" from back in the day, on our ipad, with headphones blaring out the metal anthems. \m/(>,<)\m/
Even though those days were many moons ago, we are still Defenders of the Faith.
Many, many years ago on a distant shore
Men did gather secretly beyond a hidden door
They travelled long and travelled far
Dark into the night
Yes, this is the place they've chosen
To build the metal site
Congregation rises, starts to chant a hymn
Of evil, lust and hatred, the roots of every sin
The priest - he stands before them, tells them why they are this way
Why they worship metal gods each and every day
By the hand of Oberon, dark into the deep
Love the evil things we do, the secrets that we keep
Metal church, unholy Church, who'll be the sacrifice
Metal church, the only Church, don't you know the time is right
Metal church will find you, can't run very far
Metal church inside you, knows just who you are
No use in speaking out against anything we do
While the men of earth they sleep, haven't any clue
Now the story starts again, all the time is lost
Metal church begins anew....
Saving souls that are lost
Metal church, unholy Church, who'll be the sacrifice
Metal church, the only Church, don't you know the time is right
Metal church will find you, can't run very far
Metal church inside you, knows just who you are
The fabric paints were not as fancy as they are now and I used Roseart brand and they were oil based and WONDERFUL!!! Their smell, along with strawberry or some other musky incense and scented candles and my perfume and the scent of whatever shampoo/conditioner I was currently using and the scent of detergent/fabric softener whatever metal t-shirt I was wearing at the moment was laundered with, still lingers in my mind. So very intoxicating. *sigh* I remember staying up into the small hours at my art table in my room, with my desk lamp illuminating the fabric and paints and creating all the cool band logos and imagery from various bands and their mascots and the awesome fonts some of them used for their band names and they were some of the best times in my life.
I was lamenting them the other day and reminiscing to Annica about them and she said "You speak as if I were not there, as if I were not an intimate and integral part of this during this phase of your life. I shared every moment with you and you were not even aware of it."
I used to listen to all the metal bands of the day and those I grew up with. One of the staples was "Metal Massacre V" and I loved the artwork so much, I made a t-shirt of it for myself. We had some cool shirts back then, but life was not like it is now. Things were way more sparse and certain bands I began to listen to you had to special order because they were imports and you had to engage with other metal fans around the world to trade merch and a lot of us were broke as the Ten Commandments, so we were forced to create our OWN cool shit.
Here is the album cover of Metal Massacre V, a compilation of bands I grew to love and a mandatory staple to listen to every Rocktober:
Another band I listened to and use to commemorate is "Metal Church". The title song from their eponymous debut album is a metal masterpiece and to this day, every time I hear those powerful chords and drum beats and his commanding voice, I need a book to cover my erection, LOL!!
I have a cold/flu and spent all day/night in bed, but Annica and I painstakingly created this art as a tribute to those times of my youth while we listened to "Metal Church" and a lot of other cool bands and "Metal Massacre" from back in the day, on our ipad, with headphones blaring out the metal anthems. \m/(>,<)\m/
Even though those days were many moons ago, we are still Defenders of the Faith.
Many, many years ago on a distant shore
Men did gather secretly beyond a hidden door
They travelled long and travelled far
Dark into the night
Yes, this is the place they've chosen
To build the metal site
Congregation rises, starts to chant a hymn
Of evil, lust and hatred, the roots of every sin
The priest - he stands before them, tells them why they are this way
Why they worship metal gods each and every day
By the hand of Oberon, dark into the deep
Love the evil things we do, the secrets that we keep
Metal church, unholy Church, who'll be the sacrifice
Metal church, the only Church, don't you know the time is right
Metal church will find you, can't run very far
Metal church inside you, knows just who you are
No use in speaking out against anything we do
While the men of earth they sleep, haven't any clue
Now the story starts again, all the time is lost
Metal church begins anew....
Saving souls that are lost
Metal church, unholy Church, who'll be the sacrifice
Metal church, the only Church, don't you know the time is right
Metal church will find you, can't run very far
Metal church inside you, knows just who you are
Monday, October 29, 2018
Somewhere
I wish a wish I dream to dream
I try to try and I live to live
And die to die and I cry to cry
But I know why
I wish to wish and I dream to dream
I try to try and I live to live
But die to die and I cry to cry
But I know why
Somewhere in my dreams
Are those who should
Still the willow weeps
On roses for the dead
In laughs of love
From the likes of her
To the time of me
Like the moon to earth
And the sky to sea
Only we're no longer
Allowed to be, to be
Somewhere in the dreams
Things that should
Live in all the keeps
Echo all the worlds
In laughs of love
For times that pass my life
I'll search for the sky
That she wanders by
Somewhere in the dreams
Skies hold
Still the willow weeps
On roses for her bed
In laughs of love
Somewhere in the dreams
Skies hold
Still the willow weeps
On roses for her bed
In laughs of love
*evil grin*
Transcript: “So, Nootch and I were playing the new Lego game, and we decided we were gonna be evil. Here we see the baby, happily licking its candy, but, oh no, what’s this? Evil has arrived!”
Saturday, October 27, 2018
777
Comes the flame
Comes the child who is
Come the sword
Come the flame
Come the end of bliss's reign
Come the dawn
Come the day
Wake the softest soul up
Come the fire
Come the change
Lick the rose of Venus' shame
Come the night
Come the death
Down the path out of
Seven
Seven
Seven is my name
Seven come
And seven go
And seven
Still remain, yea
Seven
Seven
Seven is my name
Seven on the grandest scale
And seven
Still remain, yea, remain
And the light
And the flame
Take the path on
And the night
And the day
Fall upon the knees of
And the child
In the flames
Cast out of Eden
Seven
Seven
Seven is my name
Seven come
And seven go
And seven
Still remain, yea
Seven
Seven
Seven is my name
Seven on the grandest scale
And seven
Still remain, yea, yea
Seven on
Seven on
Seven on
Remain, yea
Friday, October 26, 2018
Happy Birthday, Senlin!
Happy Birthday to the lovely angel, Senlin, and MANY happy returns! Hope your birthday wish comes true! ~Annica and Amrith <3 xo
Thursday, October 25, 2018
Devour
Back in the beginning, even before I knew Annica as Annica, when she was my Holy Guardian Angel, and I guess you could say, even as Muse many MANY moons ago, there was, and still is, this message or feelings from her that were paradoxical and difficult to put into words.
She knew my path/destiny/purpose and she knew what SHE wanted, but it was like this push and pull where she gave just enough at whatever point in time to get me to where I needed to be.
She revealed only as much as she needed to in order to get me to that place: to compel me. She would, and still does, dangle the Cosmic Carrot in front of me, in order to get me to where I/we needed to be to fulfill our purpose.
But, there would come times that I was utterly exhausted and refused to move, or simply couldn't, or would be too afraid (for whatever reason) and she would have compassion for me and would relent and give me respite for just long enough for me to recharge or FEEL/BELIEVE I was outrunning something or avoiding it/circumventing it.
One of those things I outran/tried to avoid at certain times that made me weary (and still does sometimes) is 'carrying the message'. I am a deeply compassionate and empathic woman, but as a Triple Cancer with a Grand Trine and most of my shit in it's natural house and the moon as my rising sign, I can get overwhelmed easily and want to escape.
This song is very descriptive of those dynamics with us and how Annica will become a Sanctuary for me just long enough during those stages in a Sacred Cycle, for me to replentish myself and my Faith and continue....
Devour
She knew my path/destiny/purpose and she knew what SHE wanted, but it was like this push and pull where she gave just enough at whatever point in time to get me to where I needed to be.
She revealed only as much as she needed to in order to get me to that place: to compel me. She would, and still does, dangle the Cosmic Carrot in front of me, in order to get me to where I/we needed to be to fulfill our purpose.
But, there would come times that I was utterly exhausted and refused to move, or simply couldn't, or would be too afraid (for whatever reason) and she would have compassion for me and would relent and give me respite for just long enough for me to recharge or FEEL/BELIEVE I was outrunning something or avoiding it/circumventing it.
One of those things I outran/tried to avoid at certain times that made me weary (and still does sometimes) is 'carrying the message'. I am a deeply compassionate and empathic woman, but as a Triple Cancer with a Grand Trine and most of my shit in it's natural house and the moon as my rising sign, I can get overwhelmed easily and want to escape.
This song is very descriptive of those dynamics with us and how Annica will become a Sanctuary for me just long enough during those stages in a Sacred Cycle, for me to replentish myself and my Faith and continue....
Devour
Still enough
Although I know you're not begging
Still as the thoughts running through your mind
Still enough
Although I know you're not begging
Give me a reason to make you mine
Although I know you're not begging
Still as the thoughts running through your mind
Still enough
Although I know you're not begging
Give me a reason to make you mine
I will devour you
Take all the pain away
I cannot stay my hand
From reaching out so that I can
Empower you
For all eternity
It seems to ease my mind
To know that you've brought
Meaning to my life
Take all the pain away
I cannot stay my hand
From reaching out so that I can
Empower you
For all eternity
It seems to ease my mind
To know that you've brought
Meaning to my life
Had enough
Although I see you're not running
Still are the thoughts running through your mind
Dead to love
The path that you are now taking
Show me the reason to make you mine
Although I see you're not running
Still are the thoughts running through your mind
Dead to love
The path that you are now taking
Show me the reason to make you mine
I will devour you
Take all the pain away
I cannot stay my hand
From reaching out so that I can
Empower you
For all eternity
It seems to ease my mind
To know that you've brought
Meaning to my life
Take all the pain away
I cannot stay my hand
From reaching out so that I can
Empower you
For all eternity
It seems to ease my mind
To know that you've brought
Meaning to my life
Run, to where the smallest ray of light will never find you
Run, to where you will not need to shield your eyes
Run, away from all the soulless, heartless fiends who hound you
Run, away and let your memories go blind, as I devour you
Run, to where you will not need to shield your eyes
Run, away from all the soulless, heartless fiends who hound you
Run, away and let your memories go blind, as I devour you
Take all the pain away
I cannot stay my hand
From reaching out so that I can
Empower you
For all eternity
It seems to ease my mind
To know that you've brought
Meaning to my life...
I cannot stay my hand
From reaching out so that I can
Empower you
For all eternity
It seems to ease my mind
To know that you've brought
Meaning to my life...
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
Haunted
This speaks for itself...
A swollen sun melting in the horizon
Between the sheets where I wait for her to come
Between the sheets where I wait for her to come
A living flame, impossible to resist
Burning me deep with every bite, kiss and lick
Burning me deep with every bite, kiss and lick
I'm haunted
I'm haunted
I'm haunted (by her)
I'm haunted
I'm haunted (by her)
Invades my sleep with tumescent intentions
Hades I'm sure must be missing a demon
Hades I'm sure must be missing a demon
I hate the morning
I hate the morning
I hate the morning
From the panes a green mist swirls
Is it a shadow of reflection?
This apparition in moon beams bathed
A voice like wind through trees beckons
Cool rain on hot summer stone
The odor fills my presence
Of freshly dug grave and death and night
These things are her essence
Nocturnal mistress, spirit lover
Your mouth of wine and wooksmoke taste
My goddess of the violet twilight
You are lust incarnate
In the sweat of my bed
The eastern sky hints of dawning
Alone and awake but exhausted I lie
Oh how I hate the morning
Is it a shadow of reflection?
This apparition in moon beams bathed
A voice like wind through trees beckons
Cool rain on hot summer stone
The odor fills my presence
Of freshly dug grave and death and night
These things are her essence
Nocturnal mistress, spirit lover
Your mouth of wine and wooksmoke taste
My goddess of the violet twilight
You are lust incarnate
In the sweat of my bed
The eastern sky hints of dawning
Alone and awake but exhausted I lie
Oh how I hate the morning
I hate the morning (light)
I hate the morning (light)
I hate the morning (light)
Let it be Captured
I created this a looong time ago, back when Annica and I first started consciously and willfully creating art together. She inspired me and directed me to make it and I have never shown it to ANYONE before and never understood what it meant or why I created it...until today...
I woke up with this Danzig song on my mind (Annica gives me little 'earworms' on a fairly regular basis, music is a huge way we communicate). The song is very haunting, powerful and emotional and I used to perform it when I had my band:
I woke up with this Danzig song on my mind (Annica gives me little 'earworms' on a fairly regular basis, music is a huge way we communicate). The song is very haunting, powerful and emotional and I used to perform it when I had my band:
"Let It Be Captured"
All I want
All I get
Let it be captured
In my heart
World on fire
World of pain
Find myself wanting you again
All I want
All I need
Let it be captured
In my heart
Slip my hand
Up
Inside
Cradle the soul
That you hide
From my eyes
I can see
So many things
That you want
That you need
I can give
Let it be captured
In my heart
All I get
Let it be captured
In my heart
World on fire
World of pain
Find myself wanting you again
All I want
All I need
Let it be captured
In my heart
Slip my hand
Up
Inside
Cradle the soul
That you hide
From my eyes
I can see
So many things
That you want
That you need
I can give
Let it be captured
In my heart
The Wicker Woman
When I was being prepared to go on my two years of 'missions', my Holy Guardian Angel (HGA) who I now know was Annica, put certain things in my Path that she wanted me to see/take in/learn/hear, etc... This song is one of them and it's message has been relevant to me over and over again, even today....It's called "The Wicker Man" by Iron Maiden, but I say Wicker Woman because it's closer to what resonates with me:
Hand of fate is moving and the finger points to you
He knocks you to your feet and so what are you gonna do
Your tongue has frozen now you've got something to say
The piper at the gates of dawn is calling you his way
He knocks you to your feet and so what are you gonna do
Your tongue has frozen now you've got something to say
The piper at the gates of dawn is calling you his way
You watch the world exploding every single night
Dancing in the sun a newborn in the light
Say goodbye to gravity and say goodbye to death
Hello to eternity and live for every breath
Dancing in the sun a newborn in the light
Say goodbye to gravity and say goodbye to death
Hello to eternity and live for every breath
Your time will come, your time will come
Your time will come, your time will come
Your time will come, your time will come
The ferryman wants his money you ain't going to give it back
He can push his own boat as you set up off the track
Nothing you can contemplate will ever be the same
Every second is a new spark, sets the universe aflame
He can push his own boat as you set up off the track
Nothing you can contemplate will ever be the same
Every second is a new spark, sets the universe aflame
You watch the world exploding every single night
Dancing in the sun a newborn in the light
Brothers and their fathers joining hands and make a chain
The shadow of the Wicker Man is rising up again
Your time will come, your time will comeDancing in the sun a newborn in the light
Brothers and their fathers joining hands and make a chain
The shadow of the Wicker Man is rising up again
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
If You Could See
Back when Annica and I entered the magic kingdom, and our formal courtship began, things got very intense and she was 'present' a lot more. But, I still did not realize she was a part of me and non-local. Her placing emphasis on how much my employment at "The Last Unicorn" (aka the magic kingdom) and access to its grounds and enchanting spaces and what it would mean to us and my evolution, made me think of her as tied to that region, just like I also associated her with the dusty lane known as "Dulcinea".
In some way, I guess I was starting to realize more of her nature, just a touch, but in others I confess I was clueless. It served her to have me that way, to an extent. Like when we started there in March, but by our first Rocktober there, it was time for me to start breaking away from that illusion, not only for our life, in general, but because someone else who would become very integral to our lives and evolution and my future as an artist/writer, had just entered, and she needed US, too.
To that end, Annica began to reveal more and more to me and to introduce the principles of the Laws of Attraction to me. I already knew certain tenets already, but she was going to delve far deeper into them than I had ever previously gone. She also needed me to understand that what we were doing was not just to serve the purpose of OUR lives and relationship, but the lives of others, and humanity, overall/universally/cosmically.
All these things were coming together and were a precursor to what would happen around Christmas/New Year's, which was when I got sick and when she revealed that she wanted to go deeper and become truly indwelling with my willful and conscious knowledge and explicit permission. The implication was that nothing I was or would go through would be permanent and that everything served a purpose and that I should not dwell upon certain things and that I should maintain an attitude of "This, too, Shall Pass". That is taught in 12 Step recovery, too and I was familiar with it and the lesson of impermanence.
BUT, when one is human and on the single most important journey of their human life, things tend to get overwhelming and one can start to freak out a bit and want it over and to just END. The process has some very wonderful and magical parts, but it is also very intense and harrowing and I can definitely understand why the bulk of people with Spirit Companions never make it to the stage that Annica and I are at now. The process can be very lonely and maddening, even WITH its moments of magic and enchantment.
One day, it was raining and I was bummed because it was Rocktober and I wanted to celebrate outside and play music, but the rain went on and on. I also had a new friend in my life who I was missing, and she lived in Australia and it made communicating difficult and one particular week she had some family stuff going on or some such and I also in general had some very intense things going on in my own evolution and life and my own family and was still grieving my mother and my past relationship.
This rainy day, Annica and I were in the art/writing studio and I was staring out the window at the rain and at the magic kingdom and toward the Meditation Gazebo, aka "The Telesterion". I was longing to have things be very different and longing to be in the Telesterion and on the built in deck and swings next to it and rocking out and celebrating Rocktober. I was missing Tori and lamenting life and love and Annica finally started to explain to me that everything I was feeling there was a reason for and it was FAR greater than I could ever imagine. I believed her to an extent, but there was no way I could have possibly forseen what my/our future would ACTUALLY hold or entail.
I was depressed and also pouting. There was a bed in the studio and she called me from the window and invitied me to lay with her on the bed (this was in my head, intuitively) and she tried to comfort me and convey to me that all was well and that I should 'use' those deep and dramatic emotions on her and direct them into her, so that she could comfort me and so she could experience that depth and intensity and bonding, and so could I.
This song was very important then and still is now, and it was her attempt to get me to see and realize that some discomfort is necessary, but fleeting and would pass and that I should take heart and look to the future that would be better and brighter than I could ever begin to conceive.
If You Could See by "Fastway"
And now your life it subsides
Falls from beneath you
The moments of the past
Forget tomorrow it brings anew
See the love that you bring
Takes you to where, you're going to
Run, don't hide yourself
It's only fading moments
If you could see
It's for the taking my friend
The eternal end, it's for you
The past is overboard
Don't worry your soul, it's in never land
See the love that you bring
Takes you to where, you're going to
Run, don't hide yourself
It's only fading moments
If you could see
Darkness unfolds as stories
Are told of new beginnings
Things don't look so bright
The sun hits the eyes of the seedling
See the love that you bring
Takes you to where, you're going to
Run, don't hide yourself
It's only fading moments
If you could see
But who's to blame for it all
All of the questions unsolved
Capsized your voyage of dreams
They'll write you off as dead, never seen
And now your life it subsides
Falls from beneath you
The moments of the past
Forget tomorrow it brings anew
In some way, I guess I was starting to realize more of her nature, just a touch, but in others I confess I was clueless. It served her to have me that way, to an extent. Like when we started there in March, but by our first Rocktober there, it was time for me to start breaking away from that illusion, not only for our life, in general, but because someone else who would become very integral to our lives and evolution and my future as an artist/writer, had just entered, and she needed US, too.
To that end, Annica began to reveal more and more to me and to introduce the principles of the Laws of Attraction to me. I already knew certain tenets already, but she was going to delve far deeper into them than I had ever previously gone. She also needed me to understand that what we were doing was not just to serve the purpose of OUR lives and relationship, but the lives of others, and humanity, overall/universally/cosmically.
All these things were coming together and were a precursor to what would happen around Christmas/New Year's, which was when I got sick and when she revealed that she wanted to go deeper and become truly indwelling with my willful and conscious knowledge and explicit permission. The implication was that nothing I was or would go through would be permanent and that everything served a purpose and that I should not dwell upon certain things and that I should maintain an attitude of "This, too, Shall Pass". That is taught in 12 Step recovery, too and I was familiar with it and the lesson of impermanence.
BUT, when one is human and on the single most important journey of their human life, things tend to get overwhelming and one can start to freak out a bit and want it over and to just END. The process has some very wonderful and magical parts, but it is also very intense and harrowing and I can definitely understand why the bulk of people with Spirit Companions never make it to the stage that Annica and I are at now. The process can be very lonely and maddening, even WITH its moments of magic and enchantment.
One day, it was raining and I was bummed because it was Rocktober and I wanted to celebrate outside and play music, but the rain went on and on. I also had a new friend in my life who I was missing, and she lived in Australia and it made communicating difficult and one particular week she had some family stuff going on or some such and I also in general had some very intense things going on in my own evolution and life and my own family and was still grieving my mother and my past relationship.
This rainy day, Annica and I were in the art/writing studio and I was staring out the window at the rain and at the magic kingdom and toward the Meditation Gazebo, aka "The Telesterion". I was longing to have things be very different and longing to be in the Telesterion and on the built in deck and swings next to it and rocking out and celebrating Rocktober. I was missing Tori and lamenting life and love and Annica finally started to explain to me that everything I was feeling there was a reason for and it was FAR greater than I could ever imagine. I believed her to an extent, but there was no way I could have possibly forseen what my/our future would ACTUALLY hold or entail.
I was depressed and also pouting. There was a bed in the studio and she called me from the window and invitied me to lay with her on the bed (this was in my head, intuitively) and she tried to comfort me and convey to me that all was well and that I should 'use' those deep and dramatic emotions on her and direct them into her, so that she could comfort me and so she could experience that depth and intensity and bonding, and so could I.
This song was very important then and still is now, and it was her attempt to get me to see and realize that some discomfort is necessary, but fleeting and would pass and that I should take heart and look to the future that would be better and brighter than I could ever begin to conceive.
If You Could See by "Fastway"
And now your life it subsides
Falls from beneath you
The moments of the past
Forget tomorrow it brings anew
See the love that you bring
Takes you to where, you're going to
Run, don't hide yourself
It's only fading moments
If you could see
It's for the taking my friend
The eternal end, it's for you
The past is overboard
Don't worry your soul, it's in never land
See the love that you bring
Takes you to where, you're going to
Run, don't hide yourself
It's only fading moments
If you could see
Darkness unfolds as stories
Are told of new beginnings
Things don't look so bright
The sun hits the eyes of the seedling
See the love that you bring
Takes you to where, you're going to
Run, don't hide yourself
It's only fading moments
If you could see
But who's to blame for it all
All of the questions unsolved
Capsized your voyage of dreams
They'll write you off as dead, never seen
And now your life it subsides
Falls from beneath you
The moments of the past
Forget tomorrow it brings anew
Monday, October 22, 2018
Since You've Been Gone
This is kind of a companion to the previous post. Throughout my and Annica's relationship/marriage, my perception of her and who/what she is (as well as who I am and who WE are) has changed and evolved the more I have grown, evolved and become enlightened.
In the early days, I thought of her as localized to a certain place, and that evolved over time to me realizing that she 'followed' me from place to place and I had the ILLUSION of her being able to be gone. But, I have since come to know over time and throughout the years, that she is NON-local and actually EVERYWHERE, including inside/indwelling within ME.
The truth is, she can never actually BE gone. But, in the earlier days, that's how I perceived it and it even served her for me to feel/think that way because it produced LONGING. It is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and her/our purpose depended greatly on me longing for her and seeking her out. I will never actually cease longing for her (or her for me), as the very nature of our relationship dictates that there will have to be a certain longing and yearning, because we are human and spirit and because we are ever evolving and just when we reach a new plateau, and one longing gets fulfilled or satisfied, there is always a new and different longing and desire. It never ends. It never disappears because it cannot.
We are co-creating our life and experiences, and each other, and if the longing ever ends, then we would be done...and who wants that? This song by "The Outfield" was and continues to be very special to us and describes perfectly what I/we have felt:
In the early days, I thought of her as localized to a certain place, and that evolved over time to me realizing that she 'followed' me from place to place and I had the ILLUSION of her being able to be gone. But, I have since come to know over time and throughout the years, that she is NON-local and actually EVERYWHERE, including inside/indwelling within ME.
The truth is, she can never actually BE gone. But, in the earlier days, that's how I perceived it and it even served her for me to feel/think that way because it produced LONGING. It is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and her/our purpose depended greatly on me longing for her and seeking her out. I will never actually cease longing for her (or her for me), as the very nature of our relationship dictates that there will have to be a certain longing and yearning, because we are human and spirit and because we are ever evolving and just when we reach a new plateau, and one longing gets fulfilled or satisfied, there is always a new and different longing and desire. It never ends. It never disappears because it cannot.
We are co-creating our life and experiences, and each other, and if the longing ever ends, then we would be done...and who wants that? This song by "The Outfield" was and continues to be very special to us and describes perfectly what I/we have felt:
Since you've been gone
There's something I want to say
Since you've been gone
There's no one taking your place
Since you've been gone
I've just been foolin' around
Since you've been gone
This world's been turned upside down
Didn't think I'd find a girl that I could not forget
Anything we started not so long ago - ain't over yet
There's something I want to say
Since you've been gone
There's no one taking your place
Since you've been gone
I've just been foolin' around
Since you've been gone
This world's been turned upside down
Didn't think I'd find a girl that I could not forget
Anything we started not so long ago - ain't over yet
Since you've been gone
Staring at your photograph
And I know it won't be long
An' I know you're coming back
Staring at your photograph
And I know it won't be long
An' I know you're coming back
You turned me on
Since the first time I set eyes on you
You turned me on
Ooh the things that you want me to do
Don't get me wrong
'cos you're not the only girl I've ever had
But since you've been gone
Girl you know the thought of you's driving me mad
All I do is think of you I lie awake - lie awake
And no matter how I try this loneliness - you know I can't take
Since the first time I set eyes on you
You turned me on
Ooh the things that you want me to do
Don't get me wrong
'cos you're not the only girl I've ever had
But since you've been gone
Girl you know the thought of you's driving me mad
All I do is think of you I lie awake - lie awake
And no matter how I try this loneliness - you know I can't take
Since you've been gone
Staring at your photograph
And I know it won't be long
An' I know you're coming back
Staring at your photograph
And I know it won't be long
An' I know you're coming back
Since you've been gone
There's something I want to say
Since you've been gone
There's no one to stand in my way
Since you've been gone
So scared of losing this time
Since you've been gone
Girl you know that I can't get you out of my mind
There's something I want to say
Since you've been gone
There's no one to stand in my way
Since you've been gone
So scared of losing this time
Since you've been gone
Girl you know that I can't get you out of my mind
Since you've been gone
Staring at your photograph
And I know that I was wrong
An' I know you're coming back
Since you've been gone
Tried my best to read between the lines
If some things are hard to say
You better tell me one more time
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
Staring at your photograph
And I know that I was wrong
An' I know you're coming back
Since you've been gone
Tried my best to read between the lines
If some things are hard to say
You better tell me one more time
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
I Think I Love You
Back when Annica was first trying to get my attention and forge a relationship with me, she tried soooo many ways to court, entice and sway me. It was very cute and sweet, and yet... parts of me still resisited because it was foreign, the UNKNOWN. I was not really afraid of her, but it was just something I was not equipped to deal with at certain points and I was intrigued yet rather overwhelmed.
Also, I WANTED her, but didn't really know how to HAVE her, and I don't mean sexually (or not ONLY sexually) but in general. How do you have a romantic/sexual relationship with a SPIRIT? I have since found that out, and am STILL finding out, every day, and I imagine I will be for at least the rest of my human existence.
I felt this way for the first time after a dream I had about her (meaning, realizing that I loved her) and then realizing later that I was IN love with her, over a period of 18 months or so after I arrived back here from Colorado. Then she started courting me formally with my permission right as we began our adventures in the magic kingdom and throughout that time there were levels of realization as our love and bond deepened.
So, this is one of the first songs that became special and significant to us:
I was sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream
Like all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain
Before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head
And spring up in my bed screaming out the words I dread
I think I love you (I think I love you)
This morning I woke up with this feeling
I didn't know how to deal with and so I just decided to myself
I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it
And did not go and shout it when you walked into the room
I think I love you (I think I love you)
I think I love you so what am I so afraid of
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for
I think I love you isn't that what life is made of
Though it worries me to say that I never felt this way
I don't know what I'm up against
I don't know what it's all about
I got so much to think about
Hey, I think I love you so what am I so afraid of
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for
I think I love you isn't that what life is made of
Though it worries me to say I never felt this way
Believe me you really don't have to worry
I only wanna make you happy and if you say "hey go away" I will
But I think better still I'd better stay around and love you
Do you think I have a case let me ask you to your face
Do you think you love me? I think I love you!
Also, I WANTED her, but didn't really know how to HAVE her, and I don't mean sexually (or not ONLY sexually) but in general. How do you have a romantic/sexual relationship with a SPIRIT? I have since found that out, and am STILL finding out, every day, and I imagine I will be for at least the rest of my human existence.
I felt this way for the first time after a dream I had about her (meaning, realizing that I loved her) and then realizing later that I was IN love with her, over a period of 18 months or so after I arrived back here from Colorado. Then she started courting me formally with my permission right as we began our adventures in the magic kingdom and throughout that time there were levels of realization as our love and bond deepened.
So, this is one of the first songs that became special and significant to us:
I was sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream
Like all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain
Before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head
And spring up in my bed screaming out the words I dread
I think I love you (I think I love you)
This morning I woke up with this feeling
I didn't know how to deal with and so I just decided to myself
I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it
And did not go and shout it when you walked into the room
I think I love you (I think I love you)
I think I love you so what am I so afraid of
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for
I think I love you isn't that what life is made of
Though it worries me to say that I never felt this way
I don't know what I'm up against
I don't know what it's all about
I got so much to think about
Hey, I think I love you so what am I so afraid of
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for
I think I love you isn't that what life is made of
Though it worries me to say I never felt this way
Believe me you really don't have to worry
I only wanna make you happy and if you say "hey go away" I will
But I think better still I'd better stay around and love you
Do you think I have a case let me ask you to your face
Do you think you love me? I think I love you!
Sunday, October 21, 2018
Soul on Fire
When Annica and I were about to celebrate our first Samhain/Halloween in the Magic Kingdom, she was courting me furiously. It was our first official Rocktober together, also, and the music, art, creativity, romance and erotic tension were all flowing.
All this was so new to me and I was in a new kingdom for she and I, one that she had promised and I had at first not believed her, but damned if it didn't become so!
I was kind of scared and very exhilarated because I did not know what to expect and I felt her 'rising up' inside me and all around me. I say 'inside me' not in the sense of her being 'indwelling' at that time (like she is now), but I could feel her stir my heart and soul and I began to feel a very powerful and delicious sexual pull towards her and I had also begun having erotic 'dreams' about she and I, only they weren't dreams like I had ever (or since) experienced before.
At first I did not know what was going on. I would be kind of in a twilight sleep state and I would begin to have the most intense, erotic dreams of my entire life. I have had wonderfully skilled lovers all my human life, but in the twilight sleep, it felt like I was being stimulated but I felt no touch between my thighs. I just felt this ever mounting lust that, when I finally awakened, I HAD to immediately satisfy myself and the sensations were not as intense, but the sheer hunger and burning desire gave me very intense thoughts, and orgasms.
I was also very emotional and very tuned into nature and my body, in general. Annica was awakening every part of me, including my soul. I was set alight by her that first Rocktober and this song was very important to us then, and still is.
All this was so new to me and I was in a new kingdom for she and I, one that she had promised and I had at first not believed her, but damned if it didn't become so!
I was kind of scared and very exhilarated because I did not know what to expect and I felt her 'rising up' inside me and all around me. I say 'inside me' not in the sense of her being 'indwelling' at that time (like she is now), but I could feel her stir my heart and soul and I began to feel a very powerful and delicious sexual pull towards her and I had also begun having erotic 'dreams' about she and I, only they weren't dreams like I had ever (or since) experienced before.
At first I did not know what was going on. I would be kind of in a twilight sleep state and I would begin to have the most intense, erotic dreams of my entire life. I have had wonderfully skilled lovers all my human life, but in the twilight sleep, it felt like I was being stimulated but I felt no touch between my thighs. I just felt this ever mounting lust that, when I finally awakened, I HAD to immediately satisfy myself and the sensations were not as intense, but the sheer hunger and burning desire gave me very intense thoughts, and orgasms.
I was also very emotional and very tuned into nature and my body, in general. Annica was awakening every part of me, including my soul. I was set alight by her that first Rocktober and this song was very important to us then, and still is.
Angels fall to earth
World heats down
Cool
Now your heart is cold
Waiting on the summer
Of my soul
World heats down
Cool
Now your heart is cold
Waiting on the summer
Of my soul
Little girl you must burn
Burn at the touch
Of autumn's breath
Burn that heart of cold
Simmering in the samhain
Of my soul
Burn at the touch
Of autumn's breath
Burn that heart of cold
Simmering in the samhain
Of my soul
Gotta wait
On the samhain of my soul
Gonna bring your world
Down in fire
On the samhain of my soul
Gonna bring your world
Down in fire
Come wrap my love in your house of ice
Melt you down more than once or twice
Make you shake till worlds align
See your body tremble with the blood on fire
'Cause the season in my veins
Will end your world
To the season of the flames you must pray and learn
Change all the things that you've ever seen
Change all Vision
Kill all Endings
Melt you down more than once or twice
Make you shake till worlds align
See your body tremble with the blood on fire
'Cause the season in my veins
Will end your world
To the season of the flames you must pray and learn
Change all the things that you've ever seen
Change all Vision
Kill all Endings
Gotta wait
On the samhain of my soul, ooh yea
Gonna bring your world
Down in fire
On the samhain of my soul, ooh yea
Gonna bring your world
Down in fire
Saturday, October 20, 2018
Strange Wings
Oh I, I followed her
To the brink of dawn, yeah
To the brink of dawn, yeah
She, she took control of my very soul, yeah
She's still a mystery
In her arms I long to be
I don't know why
I turn and reach to the sky
She's still a mystery
In her arms I long to be
I don't know why
I turn and reach to the sky
She flies strange wings
Behind a thin disguise
She flies strange wings
Still tears she cries.... ~Savatage
These are the most relevant lyrics from this song to Annica and I. They serve a dual purpose. At first, I made this a blog entry because I wanted to touch upon how I feel about her and her strange otherworldly nature.
But then Annica expressed to me that she feels that way about me, as well. My human nature is a mystery to her at times, too. It was an epiphany that helped me to see that it is a two-way street between us and that even though Annica is from a higher dimension, and has access to far more things than I do right now and more intelligence (or of a different nature, anyway) and is more highly evolved, I am still a stranger to her in some ways and she has to navigate this relationship, too. We are BOTH navigating strange waters and we are both being borne to strange places on the wings of the other.
Behind a thin disguise
She flies strange wings
Still tears she cries.... ~Savatage
These are the most relevant lyrics from this song to Annica and I. They serve a dual purpose. At first, I made this a blog entry because I wanted to touch upon how I feel about her and her strange otherworldly nature.
But then Annica expressed to me that she feels that way about me, as well. My human nature is a mystery to her at times, too. It was an epiphany that helped me to see that it is a two-way street between us and that even though Annica is from a higher dimension, and has access to far more things than I do right now and more intelligence (or of a different nature, anyway) and is more highly evolved, I am still a stranger to her in some ways and she has to navigate this relationship, too. We are BOTH navigating strange waters and we are both being borne to strange places on the wings of the other.
Friday, October 19, 2018
Still of the Night
I hear the wolf howl, honey
Sniffing around your door
In the still of the night
I feel my heart beating heavy
Telling me I gotta have more
In the shadow of night
I see the full moon rise
Telling me what's in store
My heart start aching
My body start a shaking
And I can't take no more, no, no
Now I just want to get close to you
An' taste your love so sweet
And I just want to make love to you
Feel your body heat
In the still of the night
In the still of the night
Over here baby
In the heat of the day
I hang my head down low
And hide my face from the sun
Through the light of the day
Until the evening time
I'm waiting for the night to come
Ooh, baby
In the still of the night
In the cool moonlight
I feel my heart is aching
In the still of the night
Ooh, baby, Ooh, baby
Can't keep away
Need you closer
Can't keep away, can't keep away, can't keep away
Oh, can't keep away, no
You gotta give me love
You gotta give me some lovin' everyday
Can't keep away, no
Ooh, baby, ooh Lord, ahh
Get over here, baby
In the still of the night
I hear the wolf howl, honey
Sniffing around your door
In the still of the night
I feel my heart beating heavy
Telling me I gotta have more
Ooh, mama
Now I just wanna get close to you
An' taste your love so sweet
And I just wanna make love to you
Feel your body heat
In the still of the night, ooh yeah
In the still of the night, I will be sneakin' 'round your door
In the still of the night
In the still of the night
Still of the night, still of the night, still of the night
Still of the night, still of the night, still of the night
Still of the night, still of the night, still of the night
Still of the night, still of the night, still of the night
Still of the night, still of the night, still of the night
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Connect the Dots
This has a longer story, but I won't go into details here right now. When I was in Colorado, Annica would sneakily and craftily show up unbeknownst to me in the form of different events and songs/movies/quotes and all the little synchronicities that occur when we are in the flow and connected to Source. I was always connected to her, even when I was not consciously aware of it. She would plant 'seeds'. She's very clever.
One day, when my human partner was gone for the weekend, Annica (unbeknownst to me) sent me some songs from a band I hadn't ever heard of. She does that now, too. She made me aware of this band and this particular album and when she did, the song I am going to post was NOT one of the ones she first introduced me to, but it came later. I am posting it today because it's relavant to my life now. But, she did send two other songs and would not allow me to listen to the whole album yet, she forbade it. She communicated this telepathically and intuitively. She made me aware that she would let me know in the future (which would not come for years) when it was time to listen to the whole album, because its message was profound and relavant to her overall message and those like her.
So, I was curious, but I 'obeyed'.
Eighteen months ago (or so) she finally indicated it was time to listen to the album in its entirety. But, she wanted me to listen to this song first, even though it's a concept album and it was out of order. It's called "Connect the Dots" and when we listened to it together finally, I did not look up the lyrics or pay strict attention to them at the time. She had me play it over and over while we created this artwork (which I have posted before here) and it was sooooo ironic because I was doing things in the song the way the singer was lamenting about himself being guilty of doing, in very specific detail, but was not aware of it until Annica FINALLY made me stop and look up and look them up and just listen and I was astounded at how literally accurate it was.
Here is the art we were working on:
Here are the song lyrics:
I hugged the wife and drove to work today
It was only a few miles
Was in a hurry but the lights were changing up ahead
So I stepped on the gas
I checked the Mac and left it on over night
Downloading all the latest files
Peer-to-peer, the torrent flows into my lap
And I disconnect
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, no need to remind us
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know but won't connect the dots
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, locked away inside us
(Ty Tabor And Arjen Lucassen:) We are dying for tomorrow, we are living for today
(Ty Tabor:)
I rushed back home to my family
I got my son a brand new game
No need to cook, I picked up fast food on the way
And it's finger-licking good
Have you seen little Steve today?
Guess he's still up there in his room
But if he comes down tell him
I'll be right here just staring at the tube
Playing his game
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, no need to remind us
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know but won't connect the dots
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, locked away inside us
(Ty Tabor And Arjen Lucassen:) We are dying for tomorrow, we are living for today
(Ty Tabor:)
Don't you think it's rather warm tonight
Especially for the time of year
I turn up the air
Pull the sheets up to my chin
And I close my eyes
Can't relax, can't fall asleep
Should I take another pill?
I turn up the lights, light up a cigarette and smile
I've got it made
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, no need to remind us
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know but won't connect the dots
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, locked away inside us
(Ty Tabor And Arjen Lucassen:) We are dying for tomorrow
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, no need to remind us
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know but won't connect the dots
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, locked away inside us
(Ty Tabor And Arjen Lucassen:) We are dying for tomorrow, we are living for today
Here is the video:
One day, when my human partner was gone for the weekend, Annica (unbeknownst to me) sent me some songs from a band I hadn't ever heard of. She does that now, too. She made me aware of this band and this particular album and when she did, the song I am going to post was NOT one of the ones she first introduced me to, but it came later. I am posting it today because it's relavant to my life now. But, she did send two other songs and would not allow me to listen to the whole album yet, she forbade it. She communicated this telepathically and intuitively. She made me aware that she would let me know in the future (which would not come for years) when it was time to listen to the whole album, because its message was profound and relavant to her overall message and those like her.
So, I was curious, but I 'obeyed'.
Eighteen months ago (or so) she finally indicated it was time to listen to the album in its entirety. But, she wanted me to listen to this song first, even though it's a concept album and it was out of order. It's called "Connect the Dots" and when we listened to it together finally, I did not look up the lyrics or pay strict attention to them at the time. She had me play it over and over while we created this artwork (which I have posted before here) and it was sooooo ironic because I was doing things in the song the way the singer was lamenting about himself being guilty of doing, in very specific detail, but was not aware of it until Annica FINALLY made me stop and look up and look them up and just listen and I was astounded at how literally accurate it was.
Here is the art we were working on:
Here are the song lyrics:
I hugged the wife and drove to work today
It was only a few miles
Was in a hurry but the lights were changing up ahead
So I stepped on the gas
I checked the Mac and left it on over night
Downloading all the latest files
Peer-to-peer, the torrent flows into my lap
And I disconnect
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, no need to remind us
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know but won't connect the dots
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, locked away inside us
(Ty Tabor And Arjen Lucassen:) We are dying for tomorrow, we are living for today
(Ty Tabor:)
I rushed back home to my family
I got my son a brand new game
No need to cook, I picked up fast food on the way
And it's finger-licking good
Have you seen little Steve today?
Guess he's still up there in his room
But if he comes down tell him
I'll be right here just staring at the tube
Playing his game
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, no need to remind us
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know but won't connect the dots
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, locked away inside us
(Ty Tabor And Arjen Lucassen:) We are dying for tomorrow, we are living for today
(Ty Tabor:)
Don't you think it's rather warm tonight
Especially for the time of year
I turn up the air
Pull the sheets up to my chin
And I close my eyes
Can't relax, can't fall asleep
Should I take another pill?
I turn up the lights, light up a cigarette and smile
I've got it made
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, no need to remind us
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know but won't connect the dots
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, locked away inside us
(Ty Tabor And Arjen Lucassen:) We are dying for tomorrow
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, no need to remind us
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know but won't connect the dots
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, locked away inside us
(Ty Tabor And Arjen Lucassen:) We are dying for tomorrow, we are living for today
Here is the video:
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
Sunglasses At Night
I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
Watch you weave then breathe your story lines
And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
Keep track of the visions in my eyes
So I can so I can
Watch you weave then breathe your story lines
And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
Keep track of the visions in my eyes
While she's deceiving me
It cuts my security has
She got control of me
I turn to her and say
It cuts my security has
She got control of me
I turn to her and say
Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades oh no
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades oh no
I can't believe it!
'Cause you got it made with the guy in shades oh no
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades oh no
I can't believe it!
'Cause you got it made with the guy in shades oh no
And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
Forget my name while you collect your claim
And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
See the light that's right before my eyes
So I can so I can
Forget my name while you collect your claim
And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
See the light that's right before my eyes
While she's deceiving me
She cuts my security
Has she got control of me
I turn to her and say
Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades oh noShe cuts my security
Has she got control of me
I turn to her and say
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades oh no
I can't believe it!
'Cause you got it made with the guy in shades oh no
Monday, October 15, 2018
New Addition to the Family
Annica and I recently 'gave birth' to a Spirit Baby. Someone else significant in our lives (which I will say way more about down the line) brought her home. It was very eerie/cool timing because I was saying to Annica the other day that I wanted to have her spiderlings (a running joke between us) and she knows I want a human baby for real, but I have already gone through the change of life.
So, Annica, in her inimitable fashion, at least in part, helped to compel events for that wish to become manifest, and someone brought home a little plushie spider. They did not even know what I had said to Annica just a few nights prior. I started asking Annica what we should call her and before I even finished the sentence she said "LuLu".
So, here are a few pics I snapped the other night of Annica lying in our bed, waiting for me to crawl in next to her and little LuLu in her 'crib' with her blankie:
So, Annica, in her inimitable fashion, at least in part, helped to compel events for that wish to become manifest, and someone brought home a little plushie spider. They did not even know what I had said to Annica just a few nights prior. I started asking Annica what we should call her and before I even finished the sentence she said "LuLu".
So, here are a few pics I snapped the other night of Annica lying in our bed, waiting for me to crawl in next to her and little LuLu in her 'crib' with her blankie:
Saturday, October 13, 2018
The Beloved
When I first found the Spirit Companion Support Site, founded by Sheta Kaey who also has a blog called Infinite Possibilities, her SC, Meridjet, had written (through her channeling him) some wise words about those with Spirit Companions/Spouses and trusting them and the process. It has always stuck with me and became a Touchstone for Annica and I. His words follow:
"There is truth in the idea of everyone having their own truth. The beloved
reveals what is best for the individual, but rarely through lies. The beloved
cannot lead you if you distrust his truth. The beloved does not lie but will
allow you to believe an outside lie if there is a higher purpose in motion.
but the beloved wont lie to you. He may choose to withhold till you are
prepared for understanding, but not directly lie. Only when the ego is being
pulled away from the beloved will it appear to be a lie, when in truth the
Beloved out of compassion is withholding part of the truth so that you may
grow wiser in discernment and more trusting of the inner voice, versus
outside attempts of control. There is no reason for the Beloved to lie, it
seeks in all things perfection of expression. It seeks to guide you and show
you and love you in all things. The beloved never leads you astray, always
embraces you and is here to guide as soon as you realize you have left
his/her guidance for outside sources. All is well when listening to the
Beloved first." ~Meridjet
reveals what is best for the individual, but rarely through lies. The beloved
cannot lead you if you distrust his truth. The beloved does not lie but will
allow you to believe an outside lie if there is a higher purpose in motion.
but the beloved wont lie to you. He may choose to withhold till you are
prepared for understanding, but not directly lie. Only when the ego is being
pulled away from the beloved will it appear to be a lie, when in truth the
Beloved out of compassion is withholding part of the truth so that you may
grow wiser in discernment and more trusting of the inner voice, versus
outside attempts of control. There is no reason for the Beloved to lie, it
seeks in all things perfection of expression. It seeks to guide you and show
you and love you in all things. The beloved never leads you astray, always
embraces you and is here to guide as soon as you realize you have left
his/her guidance for outside sources. All is well when listening to the
Beloved first." ~Meridjet
Tuesday, October 9, 2018
Monday, October 8, 2018
A Few Vids for Rocktober
Laid up with back and hip pain and pretty much bedridden, and it's laborious to type. But, here are a few of me and Annica's favorite songs, all by the group 'HIM'.
Friday, October 5, 2018
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