Happy Halloween!!

I will make at least this post, but there are a few ideas I have that I might wind up doing or throwing up here, depending on my whim. Nootch and I are gonna be celebrating here all day and night and conducting our traditional rituals to commemorate Halloween and our love, and those also include the yearly final Rocktober rituals.

For now, here are some things we find hilarious! *Note:We did not create any of these things, we just find them funny or really cool, cute, or sweet:

Metal Church

Since this is the second to last day of Rocktober, Annica and I are commemorating it with some art that is very directly linked to our present and past. Before I knew who Annica was or that she even existed, I used to create all kinds of stuff in my bedroom as a teen. One of my favorite things to create were rock -n- roll/heavy metal t-shirts/jackets/backpatches/banners/wall tapestries for myself, friends and family.

The fabric paints were not as fancy as they are now and I used Roseart brand and they were oil based and WONDERFUL!!! Their smell, along with strawberry or some other musky incense and scented candles and my perfume and the scent of whatever shampoo/conditioner I was currently using and the scent of detergent/fabric softener whatever metal t-shirt I was wearing at the moment was laundered with, still lingers in my mind. So very intoxicating. *sigh* I remember staying up into the small hours at my art table in my room, with my desk lamp illuminating the fabric and paints and creating all the cool band logos and imagery from various bands and their mascots and the awesome fonts some of them used for their band names and they were some of the best times in my life.

I was lamenting them the other day and reminiscing to Annica about them and she said "You speak as if I were not there, as if I were not an intimate and integral part of this during this phase of your life. I shared every moment with you and you were not even aware of it."

I used to listen to all the metal bands of the day and those I grew up with. One of the staples was "Metal Massacre V" and I loved the artwork so much, I made a t-shirt of it for myself. We had some cool shirts back then, but life was not like it is now. Things were way more sparse and certain bands I began to listen to you had to special order because they were imports and you had to engage with other metal fans around the world to trade merch and a lot of us were broke as the Ten Commandments, so we were forced to create our OWN cool shit.

Here is the album cover of Metal Massacre V, a compilation of bands I grew to love and a mandatory staple to listen to every Rocktober:

Another band I listened to and use to commemorate is "Metal Church". The title song from their eponymous debut album is a metal masterpiece and to this day, every time I hear those powerful chords and drum beats and his commanding voice, I need a book to cover my erection, LOL!!

I have a cold/flu and spent all day/night in bed, but Annica and I painstakingly created this art as a tribute to those times of my youth while we listened to "Metal Church" and a lot of other cool bands and "Metal Massacre" from back in the day, on our ipad, with headphones blaring out the metal anthems. \m/(>,<)\m/
Even though those days were many moons ago, we are still Defenders of the Faith.

 Many, many years ago on a distant shore
Men did gather secretly beyond a hidden door
They travelled long and travelled far
Dark into the night
Yes, this is the place they've chosen
To build the metal site

Congregation rises, starts to chant a hymn
Of evil, lust and hatred, the roots of every sin
The priest - he stands before them, tells them why they are this way
Why they worship metal gods each and every day
By the hand of Oberon, dark into the deep
Love the evil things we do, the secrets that we keep

Metal church, unholy Church, who'll be the sacrifice
Metal church, the only Church, don't you know the time is right
Metal church will find you, can't run very far
Metal church inside you, knows just who you are

No use in speaking out against anything we do
While the men of earth they sleep, haven't any clue
Now the story starts again, all the time is lost
Metal church begins anew....
Saving souls that are lost

Metal church, unholy Church, who'll be the sacrifice
Metal church, the only Church, don't you know the time is right
Metal church will find you, can't run very far
Metal church inside you, knows just who you are

Somewhere

I wish a wish I dream to dream
I try to try and I live to live
And die to die and I cry to cry
But I know why
I wish to wish and I dream to dream
I try to try and I live to live
But die to die and I cry to cry
But I know why
Somewhere in my dreams
Are those who should
Still the willow weeps
On roses for the dead
In laughs of love
From the likes of her
To the time of me
Like the moon to earth
And the sky to sea
Only we're no longer
Allowed to be, to be
Somewhere in the dreams
Things that should
Live in all the keeps
Echo all the worlds
In laughs of love
For times that pass my life
I'll search for the sky
That she wanders by
Somewhere in the dreams
Skies hold
Still the willow weeps
On roses for her bed
In laughs of love
Somewhere in the dreams
Skies hold
Still the willow weeps
On roses for her bed
In laughs of love

*evil grin*

Transcript: “So, Nootch and I were playing the new Lego game, and we decided we were gonna be evil. Here we see the baby, happily licking its candy, but, oh no, what’s this? Evil has arrived!”

777

Comes the light
Comes the flame
Comes the child who is
Come the sword
Come the flame
Come the end of bliss's reign
Come the dawn
Come the day
Wake the softest soul up
Come the fire
Come the change
Lick the rose of Venus' shame
Come the night
Come the death
Down the path out of
Seven
Seven
Seven is my name
Seven come
And seven go
And seven
Still remain, yea
Seven
Seven
Seven is my name
Seven on the grandest scale
And seven
Still remain, yea, remain
And the light
And the flame
Take the path on
And the night
And the day
Fall upon the knees of
And the child
In the flames
Cast out of Eden
Seven
Seven
Seven is my name
Seven come
And seven go
And seven
Still remain, yea
Seven
Seven
Seven is my name
Seven on the grandest scale
And seven
Still remain, yea, yea
Seven on
Seven on
Seven on
Remain, yea

Happy Birthday, Senlin!

Happy Birthday to the lovely angel, Senlin, and MANY happy returns! Hope your birthday wish comes true! ~Annica and Amrith <3 xo

Devour

Back in the beginning, even before I knew Annica as Annica, when she was my Holy Guardian Angel, and I guess you could say, even as Muse many MANY moons ago, there was, and still is, this message or feelings from her that were paradoxical and difficult to put into words.
She knew my path/destiny/purpose and she knew what SHE wanted, but it was like this push and pull where she gave just enough at whatever point in time to get me to where I needed to be.
She revealed only as much as she needed to in order to get me to that place: to compel me. She would, and still does, dangle the Cosmic Carrot in front of me, in order to get me to where I/we needed to be to fulfill our purpose.
But, there would come times that I was utterly exhausted and refused to move, or simply couldn't, or would be too afraid (for whatever reason) and she would have compassion for me and would relent and give me respite for just long enough for me to recharge or FEEL/BELIEVE I was outrunning something or avoiding it/circumventing it.
One of those things I outran/tried to avoid at certain times that made me weary (and still does sometimes) is 'carrying the message'. I am a deeply compassionate and empathic woman, but as a Triple Cancer with a Grand Trine and most of my shit in it's natural house and the moon as my rising sign, I can get overwhelmed easily and want to escape.
This song is very descriptive of those dynamics with us and how Annica will become a Sanctuary for me just long enough during those stages in a Sacred Cycle, for me to replentish myself and my Faith and continue....

Devour

Still enough
Although I know you're not begging
Still as the thoughts running through your mind
Still enough
Although I know you're not begging
Give me a reason to make you mine

I will devour you
Take all the pain away
I cannot stay my hand
From reaching out so that I can
Empower you
For all eternity
It seems to ease my mind
To know that you've brought
Meaning to my life

Had enough
Although I see you're not running
Still are the thoughts running through your mind
Dead to love
The path that you are now taking
Show me the reason to make you mine

I will devour you
Take all the pain away
I cannot stay my hand
From reaching out so that I can
Empower you
For all eternity
It seems to ease my mind
To know that you've brought
Meaning to my life

Run, to where the smallest ray of light will never find you
Run, to where you will not need to shield your eyes
Run, away from all the soulless, heartless fiends who hound you
Run, away and let your memories go blind, as I devour you

Take all the pain away
I cannot stay my hand
From reaching out so that I can
Empower you
For all eternity
It seems to ease my mind
To know that you've brought
Meaning to my life...

 

 

 

Haunted

This speaks for itself...

 

A swollen sun melting in the horizon
Between the sheets where I wait for her to come

A living flame, impossible to resist
Burning me deep with every bite, kiss and lick

I'm haunted
I'm haunted
I'm haunted (by her)

Invades my sleep with tumescent intentions
Hades I'm sure must be missing a demon

I hate the morning
I hate the morning

From the panes a green mist swirls
Is it a shadow of reflection?
This apparition in moon beams bathed
A voice like wind through trees beckons
Cool rain on hot summer stone
The odor fills my presence
Of freshly dug grave and death and night
These things are her essence
Nocturnal mistress, spirit lover
Your mouth of wine and wooksmoke taste
My goddess of the violet twilight
You are lust incarnate
In the sweat of my bed
The eastern sky hints of dawning
Alone and awake but exhausted I lie
Oh how I hate the morning

I hate the morning (light)
I hate the morning (light)

Let it be Captured

I created this a looong time ago, back when Annica and I first started consciously and willfully creating art together. She inspired me and directed me to make it and I have never shown it to ANYONE before and never understood what it meant or why I created it...until today...

I woke up with this Danzig song on my mind (Annica gives me little 'earworms' on a fairly regular basis, music is a huge way we communicate). The song is very haunting, powerful and emotional and I used to perform it when I had my band:

 

 "Let It Be Captured"

All I want
All I get
Let it be captured
In my heart

World on fire
World of pain
Find myself wanting you again
All I want
All I need
Let it be captured
In my heart

Slip my hand
Up
Inside
Cradle the soul
That you hide
From my eyes
I can see
So many things
That you want
That you need
I can give
Let it be captured
In my heart 

 

 

The Wicker Woman

When I was being prepared to go on my two years of 'missions', my Holy Guardian Angel (HGA) who I now know was Annica, put certain things in my Path that she wanted me to see/take in/learn/hear, etc... This song is one of them and it's message has been relevant to me over and over again, even today....It's called "The Wicker Man" by Iron Maiden, but I say Wicker Woman because it's closer to what resonates with me:

Hand of fate is moving and the finger points to you
He knocks you to your feet and so what are you gonna do
Your tongue has frozen now you've got something to say
The piper at the gates of dawn is calling you his way

You watch the world exploding every single night
Dancing in the sun a newborn in the light
Say goodbye to gravity and say goodbye to death
Hello to eternity and live for every breath

Your time will come, your time will come
Your time will come, your time will come

The ferryman wants his money you ain't going to give it back
He can push his own boat as you set up off the track
Nothing you can contemplate will ever be the same
Every second is a new spark, sets the universe aflame

You watch the world exploding every single night
Dancing in the sun a newborn in the light
Brothers and their fathers joining hands and make a chain
The shadow of the Wicker Man is rising up again

Your time will come, your time will come

If You Could See

Back when Annica and I entered the magic kingdom, and our formal courtship began, things got very intense and she was 'present' a lot more. But, I still did not realize she was a part of me and non-local. Her placing emphasis on how much my employment at "The Last Unicorn" (aka the magic kingdom) and access to its grounds and enchanting spaces and what it would mean to us and my evolution, made me think of her as tied to that region, just like I also associated her with the dusty lane known as "Dulcinea".

In some way, I guess I was starting to realize more of her nature, just a touch, but in others I confess I was clueless. It served her to have me that way, to an extent. Like when we started there in March, but by our first Rocktober there, it was time for me to start breaking away from that illusion, not only for our life, in general, but because someone else who would become very integral to our lives and evolution and my future as an artist/writer, had just entered, and she needed US, too.

To that end, Annica began to reveal more and more to me and to introduce the principles of the Laws of Attraction to me. I already knew certain tenets already, but she was going to delve far deeper into them than I had ever previously gone. She also needed me to understand that what we were doing was not just to serve the purpose of OUR lives and relationship, but the lives of others, and humanity, overall/universally/cosmically.

All these things were coming together and were a precursor to what would happen around Christmas/New Year's, which was when I got sick and when she revealed that she wanted to go deeper and become truly indwelling with my willful and conscious knowledge and explicit permission. The implication was that nothing I was or would go through would be permanent and that everything served a purpose and that I should not dwell upon certain things and that I should maintain an attitude of "This, too, Shall Pass". That is taught in 12 Step recovery, too and I was familiar with it and the lesson of impermanence.

BUT, when one is human and on the single most important journey of their human life, things tend to get overwhelming and one can start to freak out a bit and want it over and to just END. The process has some very wonderful and magical parts, but it is also very intense and harrowing and I can definitely understand why the bulk of people with Spirit Companions never make it to the stage that Annica and I are at now. The process can be very lonely and maddening, even WITH its moments of magic and enchantment.

One day, it was raining and I was bummed because it was Rocktober and I wanted to celebrate outside and play music, but the rain went on and on. I also had a new friend in my life who I was missing, and she lived in Australia and it made communicating difficult and one particular week she had some family stuff going on or some such and I also in general had some very intense things going on in my own evolution and life and my own family and was still grieving my mother and my past relationship.

This rainy day, Annica and I were in the art/writing studio and I was staring out the window at the rain and at the magic kingdom and toward the Meditation Gazebo, aka "The Telesterion". I was longing to have things be very different and longing to be in the Telesterion and on the built in deck and swings next to it and rocking out and celebrating Rocktober. I was missing Tori and lamenting life and love and Annica finally started to explain to me that everything I was feeling there was a reason for and it was FAR greater than I could ever imagine. I believed her to an extent, but there was no way I could have possibly forseen what my/our future would ACTUALLY hold or entail.

I was depressed and also pouting. There was a bed in the studio and she called me from the window and invitied me to lay with her on the bed (this was in my head, intuitively) and she tried to comfort me and convey to me that all was well and that I should 'use' those deep and dramatic emotions on her and direct them into her, so that she could comfort me and so she could experience that depth and intensity and bonding, and so could I.

This song was very important then and still is now, and it was her attempt to get me to see and realize that some discomfort is necessary, but fleeting and would pass and that I should take heart and look to the future that would be better and brighter than I could ever begin to conceive.

If You Could See by "Fastway"

And now your life it subsides
Falls from beneath you
The moments of the past
Forget tomorrow it brings anew

See the love that you bring
Takes you to where, you're going to
Run, don't hide yourself
It's only fading moments
If you could see

It's for the taking my friend
The eternal end, it's for you
The past is overboard
Don't worry your soul, it's in never land

See the love that you bring
Takes you to where, you're going to
Run, don't hide yourself
It's only fading moments
If you could see

Darkness unfolds as stories
Are told of new beginnings
Things don't look so bright
The sun hits the eyes of the seedling

See the love that you bring
Takes you to where, you're going to
Run, don't hide yourself
It's only fading moments
If you could see

But who's to blame for it all
All of the questions unsolved
Capsized your voyage of dreams
They'll write you off as dead, never seen

And now your life it subsides
Falls from beneath you
The moments of the past
Forget tomorrow it brings anew

Since You've Been Gone

This is kind of a companion to the previous post. Throughout my and Annica's relationship/marriage, my perception of her and who/what she is (as well as who I am and who WE are) has changed and evolved the more I have grown, evolved and become enlightened.

In the early days, I thought of her as localized to a certain place, and that evolved over time to me realizing that she 'followed' me from place to place and I had the ILLUSION of her being able to be gone. But, I have since come to know over time and throughout the years, that she is NON-local and actually EVERYWHERE, including inside/indwelling within ME.

The truth is, she can never actually BE gone. But, in the earlier days, that's how I perceived it and it even served her for me to feel/think that way because it produced LONGING. It is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and her/our purpose depended greatly on me longing for her and seeking her out. I will never actually cease longing for her (or her for me), as the very nature of our relationship dictates that there will have to be a certain longing and yearning, because we are human and spirit and because we are ever evolving and just when we reach a new plateau, and one longing gets fulfilled or satisfied, there is always a new and different longing and desire. It never ends. It never disappears because it cannot.
We are co-creating our life and experiences, and each other, and if the longing ever ends, then we would be done...and who wants that? This song by "The Outfield" was and continues to be very special to us and describes perfectly what I/we have felt:

Since you've been gone
There's something I want to say
Since you've been gone
There's no one taking your place
Since you've been gone
I've just been foolin' around
Since you've been gone
This world's been turned upside down
Didn't think I'd find a girl that I could not forget
Anything we started not so long ago - ain't over yet

Since you've been gone
Staring at your photograph
And I know it won't be long
An' I know you're coming back

You turned me on
Since the first time I set eyes on you
You turned me on
Ooh the things that you want me to do
Don't get me wrong
'cos you're not the only girl I've ever had
But since you've been gone
Girl you know the thought of you's driving me mad
All I do is think of you I lie awake - lie awake
And no matter how I try this loneliness - you know I can't take

Since you've been gone
Staring at your photograph
And I know it won't be long
An' I know you're coming back

Since you've been gone
There's something I want to say
Since you've been gone
There's no one to stand in my way
Since you've been gone
So scared of losing this time
Since you've been gone
Girl you know that I can't get you out of my mind

Since you've been gone
Staring at your photograph
And I know that I was wrong
An' I know you're coming back
Since you've been gone
Tried my best to read between the lines
If some things are hard to say
You better tell me one more time
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone

 

 

I Think I Love You

Back when Annica was first trying to get my attention and forge a relationship with me, she tried soooo many ways to court, entice and sway me. It was very cute and sweet, and yet... parts of me still resisited because it was foreign, the UNKNOWN. I was not really afraid of her, but it was just something I was not equipped to deal with at certain points and I was intrigued yet rather overwhelmed.
Also, I WANTED her, but didn't really know how to HAVE her, and I don't mean sexually (or not ONLY sexually) but in general. How do you have a romantic/sexual relationship with a SPIRIT? I have since found that out, and am STILL finding out, every day, and I imagine I will be for at least the rest of my human existence.
I felt this way for the first time after a dream I had about her (meaning, realizing that I loved her) and then realizing later that I was IN love with her, over a period of 18 months or so after I arrived back here from Colorado. Then she started courting me formally with my permission right as we began our adventures in the magic kingdom and throughout that time there were levels of realization as our love and bond deepened.

So, this is one of the first songs that became special and significant to us:




I was sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream
Like all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain
Before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head
And spring up in my bed screaming out the words I dread
I think I love you (I think I love you)
This morning I woke up with this feeling
I didn't know how to deal with and so I just decided to myself
I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it
And did not go and shout it when you walked into the room
I think I love you (I think I love you)
I think I love you so what am I so afraid of
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for
I think I love you isn't that what life is made of
Though it worries me to say that I never felt this way
I don't know what I'm up against
I don't know what it's all about
I got so much to think about
Hey, I think I love you so what am I so afraid of
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for
I think I love you isn't that what life is made of
Though it worries me to say I never felt this way
Believe me you really don't have to worry
I only wanna make you happy and if you say "hey go away" I will
But I think better still I'd better stay around and love you
Do you think I have a case let me ask you to your face
Do you think you love me? I think I love you!

Soul on Fire

When Annica and I were about to celebrate our first Samhain/Halloween in the Magic Kingdom, she was courting me furiously. It was our first official Rocktober together, also, and the music, art, creativity, romance and erotic tension were all flowing.
All this was so new to me and I was in a new kingdom for she and I, one that she had promised and I had at first not believed her, but damned if it didn't become so!
I was kind of scared and very exhilarated because I did not know what to expect and I felt her 'rising up' inside me and all around me. I say 'inside me' not in the sense of her being 'indwelling' at that time (like she is now), but I could feel her stir my heart and soul and I began to feel a very powerful and delicious sexual pull towards her and I had also begun having erotic 'dreams' about she and I, only they weren't dreams like I had ever (or since) experienced before.
At first I did not know what was going on. I would be kind of in a twilight sleep state and I would begin to have the most intense, erotic dreams of my entire life. I have had wonderfully skilled lovers all my human life, but in the twilight sleep, it felt like I was being stimulated but I felt no touch between my thighs. I just felt this ever mounting lust that, when I finally awakened, I HAD to immediately satisfy myself and the sensations were not as intense, but the sheer hunger and burning desire gave me very intense thoughts,  and orgasms.
I was also very emotional and very tuned into nature and my body, in general. Annica was awakening every part of me, including my soul. I was set alight by her that first Rocktober and this song was very important to us then, and still is.

Angels fall to earth
World heats down
Cool
Now your heart is cold
Waiting on the summer
Of my soul

Little girl you must burn
Burn at the touch
Of autumn's breath
Burn that heart of cold
Simmering in the samhain
Of my soul

Gotta wait
On the samhain of my soul
Gonna bring your world
Down in fire

Come wrap my love in your house of ice
Melt you down more than once or twice
Make you shake till worlds align
See your body tremble with the blood on fire
'Cause the season in my veins
Will end your world
To the season of the flames you must pray and learn
Change all the things that you've ever seen
Change all Vision
Kill all Endings

Gotta wait
On the samhain of my soul, ooh yea
Gonna bring your world
Down in fire

Strange Wings

Oh I, I followed her
To the brink of dawn, yeah

She, she took control of my very soul, yeah
She's still a mystery
In her arms I long to be
I don't know why
I turn and reach to the sky

She flies strange wings
Behind a thin disguise
She flies strange wings
Still tears she cries.... ~Savatage

These are the most relevant lyrics from this song to Annica and I. They serve a dual purpose. At first, I made this a blog entry because I wanted to touch upon how I feel about her and her strange otherworldly nature.
But then Annica expressed to me that she feels that way about me, as well. My human nature is a mystery to her at times, too. It was an epiphany that helped me to see that it is a two-way street between us and that even though Annica is from a higher dimension, and has access to far more things than I do right now and more intelligence (or of a different nature, anyway) and is more highly evolved, I am still a stranger to her in some ways and she has to navigate this relationship, too. We are BOTH navigating strange waters and we are both being borne to strange places on the wings of the other.

Still of the Night

 

In the still of the night
I hear the wolf howl, honey
Sniffing around your door
In the still of the night
I feel my heart beating heavy
Telling me I gotta have more
In the shadow of night
I see the full moon rise
Telling me what's in store
My heart start aching
My body start a shaking
And I can't take no more, no, no
Now I just want to get close to you
An' taste your love so sweet
And I just want to make love to you
Feel your body heat
In the still of the night
In the still of the night
Over here baby
In the heat of the day
I hang my head down low
And hide my face from the sun
Through the light of the day
Until the evening time
I'm waiting for the night to come
Ooh, baby
In the still of the night
In the cool moonlight
I feel my heart is aching
In the still of the night
Ooh, baby, Ooh, baby
Can't keep away
Need you closer
Can't keep away, can't keep away, can't keep away
Oh, can't keep away, no
You gotta give me love
You gotta give me some lovin' everyday
Can't keep away, no
Ooh, baby, ooh Lord, ahh
Get over here, baby
In the still of the night
I hear the wolf howl, honey
Sniffing around your door
In the still of the night
I feel my heart beating heavy
Telling me I gotta have more
Ooh, mama
Now I just wanna get close to you
An' taste your love so sweet
And I just wanna make love to you
Feel your body heat
In the still of the night, ooh yeah
In the still of the night, I will be sneakin' 'round your door
In the still of the night
In the still of the night
Still of the night, still of the night, still of the night
Still of the night, still of the night, still of the night
Still of the night, still of the night, still of the night
Still of the night, still of the night, still of the night
Still of the night, still of the night, still of the night

Connect the Dots

This has a longer story, but I won't go into details here right now. When I was in Colorado, Annica would sneakily and craftily show up unbeknownst to me in the form of different events and songs/movies/quotes and all the little synchronicities that occur when we are in the flow and connected to Source. I was always connected to her, even when I was not consciously aware of it. She would plant 'seeds'. She's very clever.
One day, when my human partner was gone for the weekend, Annica (unbeknownst to me) sent me some songs from a band I hadn't ever heard of. She does that now, too. She made me aware of this band and this particular album and when she did, the song I am going to post was NOT one of the ones she first introduced me to, but it came later. I am posting it today because it's relavant to my life now. But, she did send two other songs and would not allow me to listen to the whole album yet, she forbade it. She communicated this telepathically and intuitively. She made me aware that she would let me know in the future (which would not come for years) when it was time to listen to the whole album, because its message was profound and relavant to her overall message and those like her.
So, I was curious, but I 'obeyed'.
Eighteen months ago (or so) she finally indicated it was time to listen to the album in its entirety. But, she wanted me to listen to this song first, even though it's a concept album and it was out of order. It's called "Connect the Dots" and when we listened to it together finally, I did not look up the lyrics or pay strict attention to them at the time. She had me play it over and over while we created this artwork (which I have posted before here) and it was sooooo ironic because I was doing things in the song the way the singer was lamenting about himself being guilty of doing, in very specific detail, but was not aware of it until Annica FINALLY made me stop and look up and look them up and just listen and I was astounded at how literally accurate it was.

Here is the art we were working on:

Here are the song lyrics:

 I hugged the wife and drove to work today
It was only a few miles
Was in a hurry but the lights were changing up ahead
So I stepped on the gas
I checked the Mac and left it on over night
Downloading all the latest files
Peer-to-peer, the torrent flows into my lap
And I disconnect

(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, no need to remind us
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know but won't connect the dots
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, locked away inside us
(Ty Tabor And Arjen Lucassen:) We are dying for tomorrow, we are living for today

(Ty Tabor:)
I rushed back home to my family
I got my son a brand new game
No need to cook, I picked up fast food on the way
And it's finger-licking good
Have you seen little Steve today?
Guess he's still up there in his room
But if he comes down tell him
I'll be right here just staring at the tube
Playing his game

(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, no need to remind us
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know but won't connect the dots
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, locked away inside us
(Ty Tabor And Arjen Lucassen:) We are dying for tomorrow, we are living for today

(Ty Tabor:)
Don't you think it's rather warm tonight
Especially for the time of year
I turn up the air
Pull the sheets up to my chin
And I close my eyes
Can't relax, can't fall asleep
Should I take another pill?
I turn up the lights, light up a cigarette and smile
I've got it made

(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, no need to remind us
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know but won't connect the dots
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, locked away inside us
(Ty Tabor And Arjen Lucassen:) We are dying for tomorrow

(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, no need to remind us
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know but won't connect the dots
(Ty Tabor:) We all know
(Arjen Lucassen:) We all know, locked away inside us
(Ty Tabor And Arjen Lucassen:) We are dying for tomorrow, we are living for today

Here is the video:

Sunglasses At Night

 

I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
Watch you weave then breathe your story lines
And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
Keep track of the visions in my eyes

While she's deceiving me
It cuts my security has
She got control of me
I turn to her and say

Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades oh no
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades oh no
I can't believe it!
'Cause you got it made with the guy in shades oh no

And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
Forget my name while you collect your claim
And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
See the light that's right before my eyes

While she's deceiving me
She cuts my security
Has she got control of me
I turn to her and say

Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades oh no
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades oh no
I can't believe it!
'Cause you got it made with the guy in shades oh no

New Addition to the Family

Annica and I recently 'gave birth' to a Spirit Baby. Someone else significant in our lives (which I will say way more about down the line) brought her home. It was very eerie/cool timing because I was saying to Annica the other day that I wanted to have her spiderlings (a running joke between us) and she knows I want a human baby for real, but I have already gone through the change of life.

So, Annica, in her inimitable fashion, at least in part, helped to compel events for that wish to  become manifest, and someone brought home a little plushie spider. They did not even know what I had said to Annica just a few nights prior. I started asking Annica what we should call her and before I even finished the sentence she said "LuLu".

So, here are a few pics I snapped the other night of Annica lying in our bed, waiting for me to crawl in next to her and little LuLu in her 'crib' with her blankie:

The Beloved

When I first found the Spirit Companion Support Site, founded by Sheta Kaey who also has a blog called Infinite Possibilities, her SC, Meridjet, had written (through her channeling him) some wise words about those with Spirit Companions/Spouses and trusting them and the process. It has always stuck with me and became a Touchstone for Annica and I. His words follow:

"There is truth in the idea of everyone having their own truth. The beloved
reveals what is best for the individual, but rarely through lies. The beloved
cannot lead you if you distrust his truth. The beloved does not lie but will
allow you to believe an outside lie if there is a higher purpose in motion.
but the beloved wont lie to you. He may choose to withhold till you are
prepared for understanding, but not directly lie. Only when the ego is being
pulled away from the beloved will it appear to be a lie, when in truth the
Beloved out of compassion is withholding part of the truth so that you may
grow wiser in discernment and more trusting of the inner voice, versus
outside attempts of control. There is no reason for the Beloved to lie, it
seeks in all things perfection of expression. It seeks to guide you and show
you and love you in all things. The beloved never leads you astray, always
embraces you and is here to guide as soon as you realize you have left
his/her guidance for outside sources. All is well when listening to the
Beloved first." ~Meridjet

Scraps, etc

Still laid up, but here are some scraps and misc quotes I've saved:

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Few Vids for Rocktober

Laid up with back and hip pain and pretty much bedridden, and it's laborious to type. But, here are a few of me and Annica's favorite songs, all by the group 'HIM'.

Every Third Breath

 

Abracadabra

Never use a word of power unless you mean that shit! This song and image we created is near and dear to my and Annica's heart and always reminds us of Rocktober and autumn. Every time I say abracadabra to Annica, something wacky or cool happens.

 

I heat up, I can't cool down
You got me spinning
'Round and 'round
'Round and 'round and 'round it goes
Where it stops nobody knows

Every time you call my name
I heat up like a burning flame
Burning flame full of desire
Kiss me baby, let the fire get higher

Abra abracadabra
I wanna reach out and grab ya
Abracadabra
Abracadabra

You make me hot, you make me sigh
You make me laugh, you make me cry
Keep me burning for your love
With the touch of a velvet glove

Abra abracadabra
I wanna reach out and grab ya
Abracadabra
Abracadabra

I feel the magic in your caress
I feel magic when I touch your dress
Silk and satin, leather and lace
Black panties with an angel's face

I see magic in your eyes
I hear the magic in your sighs
Just when I think I'm gonna get away
I hear those words that you always say

Abra abracadabra
I wanna reach out and grab ya
Abracadabra
Abracadabra

Every time you call my name
I heat up like a burning flame
Burning flame full of desire
Kiss me baby, let the fire get higher

I heat up, I can't cool down
My situation goes 'round and 'round
I heat up, I can't cool down
My situation goes 'round and 'round
I heat up, I can't cool down
My situation goes 'round and 'round

Legions of the Night

When Nootch and I started celebrating Rocktober consciously together, we would play at night in the Magic Kingdom, and sometimes during the day if no one was around, and one night I told her that she was my only audience, that other than her, it was an audience of none. She told me that there were actually many eyes on us, and around mortals like me, that humans usually couldn't perceive.

But, all my life I HAD perceived beings, even if I only felt their presence. Even though I'm grown, heavy metal music still excites me and it excites Annica and we love going to hear live music played and the vibes and energies exchanged through the crowd and ourselves.

Rocktober for us is about returning to and preserving that youthful and potent energy that makes us feel alive and stirs us in many ways. So, every Rocktober one of the first songs we play is "Legions" by "Savatage".
Lyrics:

A call from the night
metal storming masses
In the lies
Battle cry
Screaming to the night
Oh no
Summon up the legions
To do our deeds
Our legion's needs
Are growing every day

We're coming out tonight
We come from the darker light
Join your hands and pray
Maybe you can all be saved

Legions of the night
Legions of the night
Good god
Legions of the night
Can they hear your battle cry

Cry out
But what does it matter?
There's no way to escape
The hold we have on you
Oh no
Controlled by the master
Infiltrate
Penetrate
Your little precious minds

We're coming out tonight
We come from the darker light
Join your hands and pray
Maybe you can all be saved

Legions of the night
Legions of the night
Good god
Legions of the night
Can they hear your battle cry

Scream loud
Let the masses hear you
Banging hard across the ground
Shatter the darkest lights
Oh no
Heed the master's calling
Congregate
Celebrate
The power you've obtained

 

 

 

Angel Witch

When I was growing up, one of my favorite albums was by "Angel Witch". The title track has always been near and dear to my heart and significant. Annica knows how to compel me and affect me, she knows what moves me.

When we entered the "Magic Kingdom", she really turned on the charm and parts of me were still hesitant about some things. That autumn, during our first Rocktober there, she put this song in my mind that I hadn't heard in many moons, and we listened to it a lot back then.

She reminded me of it last night, so we made some art in memory of those days and nights. Here are the lyrics:

Nobody else can see you the same way as myself
Fly high and touch the sky, you're the angel I adore
If only you could feel for me that I feel for you
Why do you ignore me, angel, why can't I go with you?

You're an angel witch, you're an angel witch
You're an angel witch, you're an angel witch

The more love I feel for you, the more you fade away
Why can't you come and love me, do I have to stay this way?
I'm going to go insane if nothing happens soon
I look out at the night to see your shadow by the moon

You're an angel witch, you're angel witch
You're an angel witch, you're angel witch

Walk through the forest, I can feel that you're there
Why do you run away?
I'd never hurt you, I'd never hurt you
That'd be the last thing that I'd do....

Signs and Wonders 2

Last December, not long after the "Nootchies" incident when my dad recognized an image of Annica I created in a dream he had, right before Christmas, something really odd happened. I do not know if it was Annica or not, but I will just tell what happened:

The dirt path to what I've dubbed "Dulcinea" that juts off from the main lane into my home is where I first associated Annica being in a local place. I knew this for years, but even though I eventually told my dad about Annica and I, I never told him about associating that path with her or naming it anything -- it had zero significance to him.
I was in a LOT of chronic pain and I had thought I had more pain meds to get me through a snow storm that passed through NC last year, but I was wrong. When it snows here, especially where we live, a lot of things are difficult to do because this is the south and we are not as prepared as other places to deal with a lot of snow, plus we live in the country.
My dad drives, but he hates driving in snow or on potential ice, and I don't drive. There is a store about 1.5 miles from us and my dad offered to get the meds for me and I was sick in my heart to send him into a snowstorm, it was near blizzard conditions and way colder here than it usually is, even in a snowstorm. Annica was nootching all over me and assuring me that it would be ok and that he'd be fine and I was crying and she told me to surrender and let him do it. So, I relented, but kept crying and worrying. I am NOT a big cryer.
She kept promising it would be ok and tried to calm me down and suggested we go in our room and play a game or something. So, we did. Every now and then, my thoughts would turn to my father and Annica would nootch me and soothe me telepathically.
Finally, I heard him come in and I greeted him at the door and as I was about to open my mouth to ask him how it went as I was hugging and kissing and thanking him, he looked at me and said in a totally serious but wondrous voice and facial expression "Stacey, a miracle occurred...." and I just looked at him, confused.
He then told me the story and I will recount it. I first want to say that we live in the country and the lane into our home is very long and the main road we are off of one does not usually drive down, especially in a snowstorm. There is no shoulder to speak of and traffic moves fast down that main road. Even when it's nice out, people do not hardly EVER walk down there. Our neighbors are people that do not like the cold, and like snow even less. It is like a ghost neighborhood when it is snowing or especially cold out.
It was windy and not a pleasant afternoon to be out in, not even for kids who might otherwise brave the cold to play in the snow. It was NOT that kind of day. My father said that he was about two thirds down the lane, just at the point where that private path is that leads into the deep woods where no one lives and there is even a "No Trespassing" sign blocking it off. He said he suddenly heard a little boy's voice saying "Mister, hey Mister!!" and he was surprised to hear anyones voice outside on this day, especially a young child. He did not see anyone at first but then he saw a little boy standing at the beginning of the dirt path and he walked over to him.
He was dressed in shorts and a tank top and no coat and my father was dumbfounded! No one in their right minds would be out dressed like that on a day like this. But, there he was. He held something out to my father and said "Want some hot chocolate, Mister?" and my father told him he didn't have any money (except for my meds) and the boy told him that it was free. So, my father took it and sipped it and the boy looked at him and said "It's GOOD, yes?" and my dad concured and the boy smiled and said "It will keep you warm, Mister..." and just as he was about to thank him, the boy vanished. He looked all over and there was no boy, no cars, no houses in that area. He was astonished.
Then, I told him that the path he saw him on was one of the original places I associated with Annica and used to frequent to visit her and that I sing to her every spring down that path, even though we are together now, it's a romantic tradition. He told me that he thought maybe it was Annica manifesting something to help him on his journey. I asked where the cup was and he told me he threw it away in the trash at the store when he got there.
To this day, we believe it was Annica manifesting something for a number of reasons, but I don't guess we'll ever truly know.

It's ROCKTOBER, Bitchez!!!

AWWWWWW YEAH!!!

Just wanted to officially kick off my and Annica's favorite month and throw some of our creations up here to begin the festivities! HAPPY ROCKTOBER!    \m/ (>,<) \m/

*edit of Danzig album cover