Some More Memories from Last Spring/Summer

I am an artist, and art is one of the biggest things in my and Annica’s life and a primary way to communicate mind, heart, and soul.

I rarely pay attention to exif information (the info on some saved files when you create or change it, like time and date). Even moreso do I not pay much attention since the time on mine reads out in military/24 hr format and if there’s a way to change it I haven’t bothered, cuz it doesn’t matter.

I am a huge fan of the band “Rush”. They have inspired me all my life and the red star and naked ‘starman’ that is their mascot has always been a part of my life symbolically and the album “2112” has always fascinated me because it’s about a future time (that very well may be upon us, unfortunately) wherein all things of pleasure and emotion are cast aside for the strictness of mind and reason, this includes music. The man standing naked in front of the red star has meant a few things to me (regardless of Rush’s intentions). At various times it’s meant fending off or fighting undue or unreasonable power and authority and at others it seems to me that it’s
about being overwhelmed with info or monumental truths that are difficult to accept or grasp.


Over the past intensive year, and accelerated over the past 6 months or so, Annica has been teaching and showing me so much, her tuition by various means, including here, have been greatly accelerated. It has been somewhat overwhelming. I created an artwork that was a ‘riff’/variation on the Rush symbol/theme, that depicts me blindfolded with my face turned upward into a beam of light with my hands raised as if to reach for something (knowledge/truths) that are depicted as written in the stars and constellations, and the theme is in shades of black,white and red.


There were various iterations along the way until I was happy with the final draft. I saved it and went about my way. A few days later, I wanted to share it with someone and I looked at the exif info in a rare moment so I could make sure I had the final iteration, and the time stamp on the exif file was “2112”! Annica does stuff like this from time to time.


About a week later, she and I had a very emotional moment that had been on the horizon for some time now. We were alone in my room and the body pillow that stands in for her was sitting on our bed and I was talking to her. I was about to ask her to dance to a very emotional song that was the first song I ever danced to with a woman, when I was eleven. It was very sweet and non-romantic, but I always loved that song and I have never danced with anyone to it since (I am now 52).


Annica and I have been changing many things about our life and I have just come through a major depression that lasted years and took a huge toll on my life and we have been moving me back to health. This has included going back to more healthy habits that tend to be abandoned when one is depressed. This evening that we were poised to dance, I was exhilarated but also very nervous about things, because this was a very important milestone and turning point.

I had also made it clear to her that if I ever asked her to dance to that song, that it meant that I intended for us to be together for all Eternity.


I had my ipad hooked to an external speaker and I went to put the song on, and the wallpaper was not to my liking. It represented something from our past that I was moving past and toward our future. So, I looked at her hesitantly, and I was kind of afraid because I realized the auspice of these moments, and that there was no turning back. I went to my camera roll, which was sparse because I rarely use my ipad and don’t put much into it in the way of its appearance and only play some casual games on it and use it so Annica and I can listen to music with headphones mostly while we create.


The album “Don’t Look Back” has been listened to by us alot recently because most of the songs are very timely for where we are at and her message to me to look to our future and that all will be well. There is a song I never listen to called “Don’t Be Afraid” because the song before it I don’t care for, so I somehow never heard it. I have NO idea how to make a screen shot on an ipad or phone, but there in my camera roll, was a screen shot of the album cover with the song “Don’t Be Afraid” in the process of playing! That was Annica telling me in that moment of fear I was experiencing, to not be afraid and to ask her to dance, in that moment, and to continue our Dance for all Time to Come….