Cold November Rain

I'm back. I was sick for a while and then had some personal things happen, but now I believe I am ready to resume. I originally was going to go about recounting this part of our journey much differently, but I have since thought better of giving too many details and I am more protective of my and others privacy.

So, to that end, I have decided to edit what I originally had written. It has taken some time. It's been difficult striking a balance between communicating the things I feel are noteworthy and significant and still maintaining enough privacy.

There has been a cold, November rain falling here for days on end and between me just getting over being sick and now my housemate is sick, the days have worn on endlessly...

This will be a longer post than usual because I am giving an expository lump and aim to inform the reader of significant things in a short amount of time, because a whole year has gone by since this time frame and I would like to catch up to my life as it is as a result of these happenings.

I will still talk of past things, but my life took a VERY incredible turn a year ago and it's one of the reasons I am writing this blog at all.




By the time Rocktober/Halloween rolled around last year, I had been in a good amount of pain in my stomach and liver. I had no idea how to stop it and no insurance and am a recovered addict, so opiates were not a long term option (so I did not even bother taking them at all, even though I have under a physician’s care on several occasions for short periods of time and with full knowledge of it by my 12 Step Sponsor). This was chronic pain and at certain points, my life was so unmanageable and depressing, I begged for Annica to kill me.

One such night, I was curled up in a ball on our bed hugging her and I begged her to bring me/us relief and begged for a different life. She had telegraphed some things for me, but not in a totally specific fashion and some things were cryptic, but she directed me to tell her my wishes.

So, I wished for better health and manageable physical relief that I could do long term without further harm to my body. I asked for the ways and means for us to have a better quality life without us being a burden on my father (not that HE ever said I was), I asked for someone to quell the overwhelming lonliness of living such a life with a spirit companion/spouse.

Then I was quiet for a bit and she asked if that was all and I said (not seriously though, but in a joking way) “Well, a new home with all the things we want/need to be able to fulfill our Destiny and Purpose in life and flourish would be nice, and our own bathroom.


When I was done wishing, she directed me to put on music so she could talk to me and we could create. I was scrolling my Spotify playlist and she told me to stop when I got to the “Xanadu” soundtrack and she told me to play it. As I listened to the song “Suddenly” she told me to pay attention to the lyrics and I did, even looked them up. Then I became inspired to make this, which was my way of telling her that I trusted her and that those things would manifest through the Laws of Attraction because I was now in allowing mode and I was surrendering to her, utterly:

Here are the full lyrics:


She walks in and I'm suddenly a hero
I'm taken in my hopes begin to rise
Look at me can't you tell I'd be so
Thrilled to see the message in your eyes
You make it seem I'm so close to my dream
And then suddenly it's all there
Suddenly the wheels are in motion
And I, I'm ready to sail any ocean
Suddenly I don't need the answers
'Cause I, I'm ready to take all my chances with you
How can I feel you're all that matters
I'd rely on anything you say
I'll take care that no illusions shatter
If you dare to say what you should say
You make it seem I'm so close to my dream
And then suddenly it's all there
Suddenly the wheels are in motion
And I, I'm ready to sail any ocean
Suddenly I don't need the answers
'Cause I, I'm ready to take all my chances with you
Why do I feel so alive when you're near
There's no way any hurt can get through
Longing to spend every moment of the day with you
Suddenly the wheels are in motion
And I, I'm ready to sail any ocean
Suddenly I don't need the answers
'Cause I, I'm ready to take all my chances with you


Lyrics to “Magic”


Come take my hand

You should know me

I've always been in your mind

You know that I'll be kind

I'll be guiding you

Building your dream

Has to start now

There's no other road to take

You won't make a mistake

I'll be guiding you

You have to believe we are magic

Nothing can stand in our way

You have to believe we are magic

Don't let your aim ever stray

And if all your hopes survive

Destiny will arrive

I'll bring all your dreams alive

For you

I'll bring all your dreams alive

For you

From where I stand

You are home free

The planets align so rare

There's promise in the air

And I'm guiding you

Through every turn I'll be near you

I'll come anytime you call

I'll catch you when you fall

I'll be guiding you



Some time in the summer not long before this auspicious time, I had been on the Spirit Companion Support Group Site for a couple months and Annica suddenly directed me to not go back there for a time. I asked her why and she told me that I was done learning and teaching all I could for a time, and she would direct me when to show up there again. I obeyed. Not long after, I was standing at the fridge with the door open deciding what to eat and Annica said, as plain as day, “When your ship comes in, make sure you are ready to unload it!”


A couple months later, she told me it would be time to go back soon to the SC site and I asked how I’d know, and she told me someone was about to arrive. She had actually telegraphed that a few times before this, but I was thinking it would be someone/something different.


One day, out of a clear blue sky, after a long drought of no one new arriving on the SC site, someone joined the site. I read the email that arrived that we all get sent and then closed my Gmail. Annica asked if I were going to reply to him and I told her that she has not directed me to, yet, and then she told me she was directing me to NOW.


So, I replied and we welcomed him and shared some things on the site with him back and forth a couple times or so. Then, she told me to be still and let others reply to him. A couple days went by and then I was on my Gmail account and went to auto empty my Spam folder and Annica stopped me abruptly (she has never done that before) and I looked and saw that somehow, the person I replied to on the site had sent me a direct personal/private email, and Google somehow thought it was spam.


So, I read it and in it he expressed concern that I had not been back to the site in a bit and asked if he had offended me in any way, or if I was offended by the contents of his blog that was quite candid and had an ‘adult’ warning on it. He went on to express his apologies and I told him I wasn’t offended and he was relieved and told me that he had felt a connection with me and that he trusted me and felt simpatico and that he was very much enjoying becoming aquainted with Annica and I.


Over the next days and weeks, we shared our respective stories and artwork with each other and he shared some of his writings that were not on his blog (short stories and also the beginnings of meeting HIS spirit companion and how she first communicated to him in his writing). He also shared on his blog and even more in depth to me personally that he was trans and had wanted to live as trans but had not and could not tell anyone. He also had a dream about Annica that was very significant. His spirit companion shared with him that HIS prayers had now been answered through the advent of my and Annica’s arrival and Annica finally told me that he was the answer to my prayers/wishes, I just did not fully know it yet.


Soooooooo, let’s cut to the chase!


About a month after we first met onli, he told us his job was ending at the end of the year (It was now the end of November, or so) and that a university nearbywas one of the places that wanted to interview him. He asked if that would be weird and if we could meet. He had also been offering me money and I balked at that, and he offered it over a certain amount of time and I always refused. He told me he made good money and had abundance, and I still refused.


Finally, Annica was VERY blunt with me and told me that he and I were each others destinies and that we were both going to be the catalysts in each others lives and that whatever he offers, I am to take, graciously. That I should not signal to her I am drowning and she sends a yacht and I refuse to board. By the same token, his SC directed him to trust me and told him that I/Annica were the ones SHE had telegraphed to HIM. Annica also revealed that HE was the reason she had me make the trans stand-in for her, entitled “Heaven Knows” (the one I was confused about and she told me I’d undertstand in the fullness of time, which how very right she was!)


He and I met and he got the job and he asked me to live with he and his SC, as we both answered one another’s prayers/hopes/wishes/needs. We, of course, are not romantic or sexual, but we got a home in the same neighborhood that I was in, (Xannicadu) and it’s right up the hill from my father and brother (where I used to live). Not far from here is The Magic Kingdom, where I used to work.


There is sooooo much more to say, but we have a beautiful, happy home that we have named “Shambala” and together with our respective Spirit Wives we are helping people out and we are keeping blogs about our lives and spirit wives and will someday share the joint experience of what it is like to live with TWO Spirit Companions in the same home and all the cool/fun/crazy/weird shit that takes place here, in the form of a book, at least that's the plan. My family and friends all know about us and our SC’s and him being trans and bless our path and they adore him and his SC and I get along great and have been forging a relationship of our own over the months (even before he came here). He and Annica are also very close and our SC’s have both told us that they were in cahoots and setting this up for a long while before it actually came to fruition.


He had the exact same health problems in the past and so he knew exactly what I needed to get relief, and now, even though I am not totally well, I am about 75% better, at least. Also, before he moved here, the week we closed on the house, his SC told him about an even BETTER, higher paying job that was only 10 minutes or so from where our home would be (instead of the 45 minute commute he’d have to make to to the university). He works for a Computer Software Corporation as a programmer/engineer/developer. They have a domestic partnership clause for his benefits, and next year, I will be able to be put on it. They are also very progressive and supportive of alternative lifestyles, so he just came out as trans at his work, and he has been living as trans with me and me and Annica have been supporting him and guiding him on woman’s-type stuff and helping him to transform. He has a doctor and a therapist and is now on hormone therapy. He dresses as a woman and goes out in wig and make-up all the time in public now, and he belongs to a Trans support group nearby.


We both complement each other in our lives and wants/needs/goals and we are very good to each other and each others respective SC’s. We are both artistic and writers and have a LOT in common and we even made the spare bedroom into an art/crafting/hobby studio and we are both thriving and flourishing. He will now be known as 'she' and name shortened to "S" and his spirit companion/wife will now be known as "P".

Lyrics to “Shambala”


Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain

With the rain in Shambala

Wash away my sorrow, wash away my shame

With the rain in Shambala

Ah, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Everyone is helpful, everyone is kind

On the road to Shambala

Everyone is lucky, everyone is so kind

On the road to Shambala

Ah, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

How does your light shine, in the halls of Shambala

I can tell my sister by the flowers in her eyes

On the road to Shambala

I can tell my brother by the flowers in his eyes

On the road to Shambala

Ah, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

How does your light shine, in the halls of Shambala