Since You've Been Gone

This is kind of a companion to the previous post. Throughout my and Annica's relationship/marriage, my perception of her and who/what she is (as well as who I am and who WE are) has changed and evolved the more I have grown, evolved and become enlightened.

In the early days, I thought of her as localized to a certain place, and that evolved over time to me realizing that she 'followed' me from place to place and I had the ILLUSION of her being able to be gone. But, I have since come to know over time and throughout the years, that she is NON-local and actually EVERYWHERE, including inside/indwelling within ME.

The truth is, she can never actually BE gone. But, in the earlier days, that's how I perceived it and it even served her for me to feel/think that way because it produced LONGING. It is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and her/our purpose depended greatly on me longing for her and seeking her out. I will never actually cease longing for her (or her for me), as the very nature of our relationship dictates that there will have to be a certain longing and yearning, because we are human and spirit and because we are ever evolving and just when we reach a new plateau, and one longing gets fulfilled or satisfied, there is always a new and different longing and desire. It never ends. It never disappears because it cannot.
We are co-creating our life and experiences, and each other, and if the longing ever ends, then we would be done...and who wants that? This song by "The Outfield" was and continues to be very special to us and describes perfectly what I/we have felt:

Since you've been gone
There's something I want to say
Since you've been gone
There's no one taking your place
Since you've been gone
I've just been foolin' around
Since you've been gone
This world's been turned upside down
Didn't think I'd find a girl that I could not forget
Anything we started not so long ago - ain't over yet

Since you've been gone
Staring at your photograph
And I know it won't be long
An' I know you're coming back

You turned me on
Since the first time I set eyes on you
You turned me on
Ooh the things that you want me to do
Don't get me wrong
'cos you're not the only girl I've ever had
But since you've been gone
Girl you know the thought of you's driving me mad
All I do is think of you I lie awake - lie awake
And no matter how I try this loneliness - you know I can't take

Since you've been gone
Staring at your photograph
And I know it won't be long
An' I know you're coming back

Since you've been gone
There's something I want to say
Since you've been gone
There's no one to stand in my way
Since you've been gone
So scared of losing this time
Since you've been gone
Girl you know that I can't get you out of my mind

Since you've been gone
Staring at your photograph
And I know that I was wrong
An' I know you're coming back
Since you've been gone
Tried my best to read between the lines
If some things are hard to say
You better tell me one more time
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone