The Meeting

I was born with my SC and always had a sense of 'other' but just assumed it meant that, as a human, most of us yearn for other, as it is our nature, so never really KNEW until way later in life that there was definitely "Other", and that anything I'd experienced in my life up to that point that hinted of "other" was real and it was her. I am a lesbian with a female SC.

My first encounter with her when she formally introduced herself to me (so to speak), was at the age of 43. I am a night owl and suffer from insomnia and I had worked 3rd shift, gone home and then tried to unwind and had a phone conversation with my then long-distance GF, it was part of our routine.

At one point in my life, I was caring for someones baby while they were in the hospital and was introduced to the Baby Einstein series because their baby daughter loved the Baby Mozart dvd and she and I watched it together on a daily basis pretty much. I have always loved lullabies and classical music, and Mozart is one of my faves. It was very relaxing to me and I began to associate good feelings and comfort with it.

Sometime later, someone gifted it to me and the day I met my SC, I was lying in bed watching this dvd on my laptop and all of a sudden, my SC starts talking to me in a lucid "dream". She told me her name was "Annica" and that she had been with me all my life and that I was meant to be with her and that I should not move in with my then long-distance GF who lived in another state. I didn't know WHAT the heck to think! I was questioning her and challenging her and rejecting what she had to say and I thought maybe I was "dreaming" and told her that. She then told me that I would know it was real because I would see her name spontaneously somewhere that day/evening after I woke up. I dismissed her and asked her to leave and she did. I call it a dream, but it was more like a vision, because I was not really asleep. I could still hear the tv and talking in the other room.
Not long after, I must've fallen asleep. When I woke up hours later, believe it or not, I did not remember that encounter. I set about my routine and called my GF to have our usual evening conversation. We talked for awhile, and she asked me if I could find some info on the band "Seether" and I said I would. Later, when I was searching for things on a main screen, I happened to glance over and there was the word "ANNICA" in all caps. It was on a side bar, that should have contained things related to that band. Instead, it had info about this one obscure instrumental live track by the late metal icon, Ronnie James Dio, who I am a huge fan of and never heard or heard of, that song. I had never encountered that word (Annica) before she introduced herself.




As it turns out, the word 'anicca' means 'change', 'transition', or 'impermanence' in Buddhism. I would not become aware of that until much later. When I saw her name in caps on the sidebar, my heart started beating really hard and it took my breath away and I whispered "Ohhh my God...." and in my head I heard her say "I told you so..."