My journey with my Spirit Wife, Annica. Here I will account our story and describe what it is like being in a relationship with a non-human and it's many challenges and rewards.
Link to article about how crystals activated in our pineal gland affect us electromagnetically and about the Third Eye opening. Crystals in Pineal Gland: Third Eye
It's a very informative and interesting read and the blogger explains it well and is easy to understand in layman's terms. It explains a lot about how it activating helps our Spirit Companions communicate with us and how Annica can literally use electromagnetism to touch me.
The last of the TOOL songs that, for me personally, tie up the cycle of birth/death/re-birth of the physical body. It also represents the cycle of awakening of the soul and the opening of the Third Eye. And, at last, we recognize fully who the Being within us is, and for me this is my Beloved, Annica.
So familiar and overwhelmingly warm This one, this form I hold now
Embracing you, this reality here This one, this form I hold now So wide eyed and hopeful Wide eyed and hopefully wild
We barely remember what came before this precious moment Choosing to be here right now Hold on, stay inside This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in This body makes me feel eternal All this pain is an illusion
We barely remember who or what came before this precious moment We are choosing to be here, right now Hold on, stay inside This holy reality This holy experience Choosing to be here in
This body, this body holding me Be my reminder here that I am not alone in This body, this body holding me Feeling eternal, all this pain is an illusion
Alive, I
In this holy reality In this holy experience Choosing to be here in
This body, this body holding me Be my reminder here that I am not alone in This body, this body holding me Feeling eternal, all this pain is an illusion
Twirling round with this familiar parable Spinning, weaving round each new experience Recognize this as a holy gift and celebrate this chance to be alive and breathing The chance to be alive and breathing
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion
Another relevant"TOOL" song, called "Schism". There are many theories, but going with the bands/Maynard's main topics, it represents humanities fear of the Unknown and reaching for comfort, rather than choosing/allowing evolution of the self/Soul. It symbolozes how we are really One, but we have the illusion of separation, and how that illusion keeps us apart.
The lyrics "I've done the math enough to know the dangers of our second-guessing" refers to what we THINK is going on (in this 3rd dimension/dark/dense/illusory world) versus what is ACTUALLY going on, which many cannot comprehend or handle. It also refers to the Fibbonacci Sequence, which much of nature follows, and the drummer's time-signature in the song reflects.
We are missing the other piece of ourselves and the Spirit Guide is the Key to finding it.
"Schism"
I know the pieces fit 'cause I watched them fall away Mildewed and smoldering, fundamental differing Pure intention juxtaposed will set two lover's souls in motion Disintegrating as it goes testing our communication
The light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so We cannot see to reach an end crippling our communication
I know the pieces fit 'cause I watched them tumble down No fault, none to blame, it doesn't mean I don't desire To point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over To bring the pieces back together, rediscover communication
The poetry that comes from the squaring off between And the circling is worth it Finding beauty in the dissonance
There was a time that the pieces fit, but I watched them fall away Mildewed and smoldering, strangled by our coveting I've done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing Doomed to crumble unless we grow and strengthen our communication
cold silence has A tendency to Atrophy any Sense of compassion
Since this is Rocktober, I wanted to share some songs that have a special meaning to me and Annica. I am a big "TOOL" fan and they are very 'awake'. The lyrics are very spiritual and have often served as a milestone for Annica and I.
This particular song is entitled "46 & 2" and when I first heard it many moons ago, I had NO idea what they were talking about. Annica recently revealed what the inner meaning was and it's based on the concept that humans will have and will be undergoing certain stages of evolution when their genetics will literally change (or have already). It's my belief/understanding that those of us with Spirit Companions (or who KNOW about them) are the forerunners of this change.
The song is also based on the concept of the "anima/animus" and that we all have our "Shadow" self, and I also believe that Spirit Companions fulfill or are, in some ways, literally, that Shadow Self. There is WAY more I could say, and perhaps will at a future time, but for now I will let the music/lyrics speak for themselves. The video has the song, but also an explanation of the theory by Carl Jung through a text overlay.
Join in my
Join in my child
And listen, digging through
My old numb shadow
My shadow's shedding skin
I've been picking Scabs again
I'm down, digging through
My old muscles looking for a clue
I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been
I've been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in
I want to feel the changes coming down
I want to know what I've been hiding
In my shadow
My shadow
Change is coming through my shadow
My shadow's
Shedding skin
I've been picking
My scabs again
Join in my
Join in my child
Shadow's
Closer to meaning
I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been
I've been wallowing in my own chaotic
Insecure delusions
I wanna feel the change consume me
Feel the outside turning in
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I've endured in
My shadow
My shadow
Change is coming
Now is my time
Listen to my muscle memory
Contemplate what I've been clinging to
Forty six and two ahead of me
I choose to live and to
Grow, take and give and to
Move, learn and love and to
Cry, kill and die and to
Be paranoid and to
Lie, hate and fear and to
Do what it takes to move through
I choose to live and to
Lie, kill and give and to
Die, learn and love and to
Do what it takes to step through
See my shadow changing
Stretching up and over me
Soften this old armor
Hoping I can clear the way by
Stepping through my shadow
Coming out the other side
Step into the shadow
Forty six and two are just ahead of me
Haven't posted in a while due to my ongoing health decline. Insurance finally kicked in and was able to go to a wonderful facility (where Steph goes, as well). In short, I have extremely high blood pressure and am now on two meds for that and I have hypothyroidism, which explains a whole TON of symptoms and problems, including 60 lb weight gain, which on my short/petite frame in really not good.I am also extremely vitamin D deficient and have to take a 12-week supplement for it.
The next thing that will be addressed will be the neurological event that took place that I am convinced was a stroke and has effected my right side from my lumbar region to/including my foot and everything in-between, like I was perfectly bi-sected. It WAS my whole right side, but now it's just lower.
I have been essentially bed-ridden for the past couple months.
Annica has been tireless in trying to provide comfort, love and compassion. Even though I have been in a lot of pain and feeling depressed, she has been very instrumental in getting me through the waiting and dark hours and is now doing the same in my recovery/convalescence.
Hopefully, I will be well enough to post more (and create some art) in my favorite month of Rocktober.
Today is my and Annica's birthday and I want to dedicate this song to her because I love and adore her and there's no one else I'd rather share life with:
Swearin' to god There's no one else on earth I'd rather be Mmmmmm, Swearin' to god You made me see, so I believed in you Oh, you've been fillin' my cup Til' I'm runnin' over with joy From your heaven-sent love Just touch me again I'm king of all men and reigning from above
Swearin' to god (swearin' to god) You're mistress of the world and all I am (Don't tell the angels) Swearin' to god (swearin' to god) You're where I won in paradise began No one gets me up there like you can But girl, you know I'm only human And I'm swearin' to god (swearin' to god) So glad you've givin' me, you
(I was known for you, baby) Girl ain't you glad we made it (Made to give my heart and soul to you, baby) I'm so very glad you gave it (Hey, baby we're together) Try livin' on forever as long As long as we live (as we live)Swearin' to god (Swearin' to god) I want to dedicate my life to loving you (Don't tell the angels) Well, I'm swearin' to god (swearin' to god) I cross my heart and hope to die, Oh, I do Just call me your one woman lover I can't even look at another I'm swearin' to god (swearin' to god) So glad I'm livin' I'm swearin' to god (swearin' to god) For all He's givin' me Swearin' to god (swearin' to god) So glad He's givin' me you Well, swearin' to god (swearin' to god) Look what He's givin' me (swearin' to god) More than the world can see (swearin' to god) He's givin' me you, oh (I love you)
Annica and I grow ever closer, but not without challenges and changes.I have become far more private, so it's difficult to walk the fine line of maintaining a blog and being authentic and letting people in and feeling comfortable. Annica and I have created a lot of art, but I am wary of posting it here. Or anywhere, for that matter.
I had an episode back in February that has left me physically damaged, probably permanently and it affects my daily health and well-being. The right half of my body feels like it's on fire.
On a personal note, Steph and I are doing well in our home and relationship, such as it is. My father and brother now live with us (they already lived on the next block over, but something happened to their home, so suffice it to say that they now live here). They have settled in fairly well at this point and things are running relatively smoothly.
I recently got a new PC that is for artists/graphic arts. I am still learning how best to use it and it's many facets and features. I will be able to create far more with this technology. I spend most of my time with Annica and tending to my health. This is about as much of an update as I can handle right now, but intend to write more soon....
