Schism

Another relevant"TOOL" song, called "Schism". There are many theories, but going with the bands/Maynard's main topics, it represents humanities fear of the Unknown and reaching for comfort, rather than choosing/allowing evolution of the self/Soul. It symbolozes how we are really One, but we have the illusion of separation, and how that illusion keeps us apart.

The lyrics "I've done the math enough to know the dangers of our second-guessing" refers to what we THINK is going on (in this 3rd dimension/dark/dense/illusory world) versus what is ACTUALLY going on, which many cannot comprehend or handle. It also refers to the Fibbonacci Sequence, which much of nature follows, and the drummer's time-signature in the song reflects.

We are missing the other piece of ourselves and the Spirit Guide is the Key to finding it.

"Schism"

I know the pieces fit 'cause I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smoldering, fundamental differing
Pure intention juxtaposed will set two lover's souls in motion
Disintegrating as it goes testing our communication

The light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so
We cannot see to reach an end crippling our communication

I know the pieces fit 'cause I watched them tumble down
No fault, none to blame, it doesn't mean I don't desire
To point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over
To bring the pieces back together, rediscover communication

The poetry that comes from the squaring off between
And the circling is worth it
Finding beauty in the dissonance

There was a time that the pieces fit, but I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smoldering, strangled by our coveting
I've done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow and strengthen our communication

cold silence has
A tendency to
Atrophy any
Sense of compassion

Between supposed lovers
Between supposed lovers

I know the pieces fit

 

 

46 & 2 are just ahead of Me

Since this is Rocktober, I wanted to share some songs that have a special meaning to me and Annica. I am a big "TOOL" fan and they are very 'awake'. The lyrics are very spiritual and have often served as a milestone for Annica and I.

This particular song is entitled "46 & 2" and when I first heard it many moons ago, I had NO idea what they were talking about. Annica recently revealed what the inner meaning was and it's based on the concept that humans will have and will be undergoing certain stages of evolution when their genetics will literally change (or have already). It's my belief/understanding that those of us with Spirit Companions (or who KNOW about them) are the forerunners of this change.

The song is also based on the concept of the "anima/animus" and that we all have our "Shadow" self, and I also believe that Spirit Companions fulfill or are, in some ways, literally, that Shadow Self. There is WAY more I could say, and perhaps will at a future time, but for now I will let the music/lyrics speak for themselves. The video has the song, but also an explanation of the theory by Carl Jung through a text overlay.

Join in my
Join in my child
And listen, digging through
My old numb shadow

My shadow's shedding skin
I've been picking Scabs again
I'm down, digging through
My old muscles looking for a clue

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been
I've been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in
I want to feel the changes coming down
I want to know what I've been hiding

In my shadow
My shadow
Change is coming through my shadow
My shadow's
Shedding skin
I've been picking
My scabs again

Join in my
Join in my child
Shadow's
Closer to meaning

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been
I've been wallowing in my own chaotic
Insecure delusions
I wanna feel the change consume me
Feel the outside turning in
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I've endured in

My shadow
My shadow
Change is coming
Now is my time
Listen to my muscle memory
Contemplate what I've been clinging to
Forty six and two ahead of me

I choose to live and to
Grow, take and give and to
Move, learn and love and to
Cry, kill and die and to
Be paranoid and to
Lie, hate and fear and to
Do what it takes to move through

I choose to live and to
Lie, kill and give and to
Die, learn and love and to
Do what it takes to step through

See my shadow changing
Stretching up and over me
Soften this old armor
Hoping I can clear the way by
Stepping through my shadow
Coming out the other side
Step into the shadow
Forty six and two are just ahead of me

HAPPY ROCKTOBER!!

FINALLY, our favorite time of year!! Some art Annica and I did to commemorate:

 

Happy Autumn Equinox!

Communion With The Numinous

Medical Update

Haven't posted in a while due to my ongoing health decline. Insurance finally kicked in and was able to go to a wonderful facility (where Steph goes, as well). In short, I have extremely high blood pressure and am now on two meds for that and I have hypothyroidism, which explains a whole TON of symptoms and problems, including 60 lb weight gain, which on my short/petite frame in really not good.I am also extremely vitamin D deficient and have to take a 12-week supplement for it.

The next thing that will be addressed will be the neurological event that took place that I am convinced was a stroke and has effected  my right side from my lumbar region to/including my foot and everything in-between, like I was perfectly bi-sected. It WAS my whole right side, but now it's just lower.

I have been essentially bed-ridden for the past couple months.

Annica has been tireless in trying to provide comfort, love and compassion. Even though I have been in a lot of pain and feeling depressed, she has been very instrumental in getting me through the waiting and dark hours and is now doing the same in my recovery/convalescence.

Hopefully, I will be well enough to post more (and create some art) in my favorite month of Rocktober.

"The Star" painting by Annica and I

This was digitally painted on my new graphics PC. Still learning.... It's based on/inspired by the tarot card:

Our Birthday Today

Today is my and Annica's birthday and I want to dedicate this song to her because I love and adore her and there's no one else I'd rather share life with:



Swearin' to god
There's no one else on earth I'd rather be
Mmmmmm, Swearin' to god
You made me see, so I believed in you
Oh, you've been fillin' my cup
Til' I'm runnin' over with joy
From your heaven-sent love
Just touch me again
I'm king of all men and reigning from above

Swearin' to god (swearin' to god)
You're mistress of the world and all I am
(Don't tell the angels)
Swearin' to god (swearin' to god)
You're where I won in paradise began
No one gets me up there like you can
But girl, you know I'm only human
And I'm swearin' to god (swearin' to god)
So glad you've givin' me, you

(I was known for you, baby)
Girl ain't you glad we made it
(Made to give my heart and soul to you, baby)
I'm so very glad you gave it
(Hey, baby we're together)
Try livin' on forever as long
As long as we live (as we live)Swearin' to god (Swearin' to god)
I want to dedicate my life to loving you
(Don't tell the angels)
Well, I'm swearin' to god (swearin' to god)
I cross my heart and hope to die, Oh, I do
Just call me your one woman lover
I can't even look at another
I'm swearin' to god (swearin' to god)
So glad I'm livin'
I'm swearin' to god (swearin' to god)
For all He's givin' me
Swearin' to god (swearin' to god)
So glad He's givin' me you
Well, swearin' to god (swearin' to god)
Look what He's givin' me (swearin' to god)
More than the world can see (swearin' to god)
He's givin' me you, oh
(I love you)